Last Chance
by ZboomMacAttack
Summary: You should never take things for granted but some people learn that after it's to late and you lose your chance. So Chris is beating himself up over it wishing for a different ending. So lets give him one. Warning ahead this is Mostly Nivansfield so yes its M/M so read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1 - Lost

Well not that I'm done with Always Here but I wanted to do something different slow everything. There are two sides to Chris the great soft caring guy who was Captain to Finn, Andy, Carl and Ben. Then there is the angry as long as Ada dies Chris. Lets keep him 80% sweet Kay?! (New narration)

* * *

** Last Chance**

**Chapter 1 - Lost**

_God there is not much left here for me anymore is there? I can't believe I just said that, a man who was never prayed much less talked to god_.

It's so dark Chris couldn't see his hands in front of his face either that or the haze was bigger than he thought; but that's how he needed it. Nice and dark so he can focus on just that and not let my mind wander.

That was total load of crap though.

Nothing could stop the memories from pouring into his mind and it was only worst when he dreamed no defense against them. Making him feel helpless and less than a soldier who has saved the world once.

"DAMMIT!" he couldn't hold on to his frustration.

He'd rather take it out this way then let the depression take me over. It was an inevitable part of this cycle he drove myself into for the past 8 months and it was only getting worst.

_I'm not a damn hero I'm a useless good for nothing captain who can only save himself…I'm losing everything I ever cared about just by being with them. If there was a god he must be the cruelest being out there giving me someone I already couldn't' have and making sure it stayed that way._

All he has now is Claire and he haven't spoken to her in a while, she called just like Jill and Sherry but he didn't want to be bothered. Have to be told I'm sorry even if they had nothing to be sorry for.

_What are they sorry for my loss? Yea…my loss and only mine._

He never thought he'd have to sit down with his family and have to tell them _I lost him with no body to show for it_ and he knew that was a loss cause. That was his fault to think a man who was despite his size being smaller than him never falter or failed to get a job done but the price he paid was one he couldn't afford.

_I lost a lot of people in the line of work I do and that's unavoidable, but my ace was always there at the end even when I lost all he still stood_.

He had already been flustered by the young man (heaven forbid) who left him stunned a lot with his loyal façade and the professional wall he put up at all times, and those perfect full lips with gold and green hazel to match them.

He'd only saw him loss his cool twice in Eastern Europe after dragging his ass out of the bar to taking him back to Europe B.S.A.A. branch. He was given a room to myself but Piers wouldn't leave him alone for even a second afraid he'd take flight.

He hadn't stop throwing his food up from all the drinks at the bar each time would clean his face of vomit. Hazel eyes filled with nothing but patients and concern .

* * *

"_Why did you try to find me?" _my speak was still slurred

"_Because the B.S.A.A. is where you are needed, the team needs you. No one can save this world like you can Captain."_ The ace always had conviction in every word he said.

"_Who said I wanted to come back huh? I didn't ask for your help kid."_ I couldn't help growling.

He steeled me a stiff look. _"So are you going to let all those men who died for this purpose go to waste? How could you be such a coward? Captain you haven't settled anything but you crept out of the hospital not letting anyone know where you'd gone because you were scared! How could you do something like that?! You didn't have to take on the full responsibility; you had family you had friends, you had… me sir."_

* * *

Chris did it again but he couldn't help but remember all the things his ace did for me. He could only curse him and himself, him for being so blindly loyal and trusting and himself for falling (when it was so wrong and unethical) recklessly for him.

_I was his captain his senior so I knew I could never let myself slip with him around. Not to mention the year gap between us I could be his father. So I always kept my façade up so I could stay with him._

He would have done it that way 'til the day he retired just as long as he was happy he would have been that friend he could always come to, or if he'd accept my offer then he would be the man who shield him or held him in his two huge arms.

He already knew he couldn't have him but he never really stop hoping deep down that his concerned eyes held more than just that.

He gets up hitting his toe in the process feeling the depression suck him in with only one escape he can think of. The haze kept him temporary free of thoughts long enough to go to sleep. He needed the hard stuff going for the vodka 80 proof. Standing in this empty house he rented out of nowhere hoping it could help me forget him. Here nothing physically reminds him but that didn't make it any less hard.

Chris hadn't ate all day but he didn't care it was 2 am and as terrifying as it may seem he needed to find just want to lay here and see, hear, think, and smell of nothing.

So he started to spill the bottle into my mouth waiting for the haze.

This happens to be far worst then the crush on Wesker his captain in S.T.A.R.S. or the love for Jill. He didn't know why he does it to himself. He just couldn't fall for people outside work like a normal person could.

_Why couldn't it have been Jill or Claire who founded me!_

He thought then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much, he can't eat it's not that he wasn't hungry but my heart was controlling my every sense. What it was hungry for couldn't be found in a grocery store. Every bite felt off like he was hungry but at the same time he wasn't. The doctors think it's PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or some kind of shock but… it was his heart that felt so distant in him chest.

The haze is finally making its appearance making his eyes flutter, sleep closing in fast.

The dreams are still bad hazed or not they came with vengeance to trap and torture him 'til I wanted a fast way out.

Flashing his face in fast pictures all with the ones of him caught off guard and him calling me.

"Hey Captain, Morning Captain, Sorry Captain, Good one Captain, Roger that Captain, Chris"

Waking up when his head meets a hard surface disorienting him, he had hit the floor waking me out my cage. He stands knocking the only lamp in his no furniture home off the nightstand. Putting his back against the wall, it was still dark and it was only 3 am.

The haze wasn't working now he felt everything that he didn't want to…hr need to do something. Chris moves to the living room still fumbling in the dark till he gets light from the backyard. He opened the clear screen double doors that had a view of nothing but acres of field closing the door behind him.

He slid down the door cradling face trying not to think about him to any avail.

"God Piers look what you've done to me."

* * *

_Shit… I fell asleep, _it was cold as hell and his stomach was throwing fits but none of that was what startle him awake. It was the small hand of a blonde staring at him with big blue eyes.

"Are you ok?" an understanding look in her to blue eyes.

Chris just stare at her with a 'do I look ok' on his too old face.

"Sor-"

"Please don't say you are sorry or I'll have to kick you out."

She nodded helping him off the cold ground. She lead the way into the living room with only a plat screen and a 4-seat couch I flop down on the couch.

"You know I don't answer the phone because I don't want to talk… so mind telling me why you are invading my me time."

She blinked a little embarrass. "Well that's why I came you weren't answering your phone or your cell and Claire couldn't leave her work at TerraSave . She was scared you might have…"

"Kid the bucket?" I offered

She sat next to him then, cutting Chris's personal space bubble something he often had Claire do to him when he didn't want to talk.

"I know you're having a hard time Chris I've lost my parents and you lost men who were like family, but do you think retiring was a good move to honor them?"

He knew she was trying to make him feel better but that didn't make him want her to stay any more than 5 seconds ago.

"I'm not trying to honor anyone at this point. I'm just tired of it all. The fighting the winning at a price when I'm not willing to pay up. They're all dead while I get to keep coming out untouched!" my voice going up in volume.

She grabbed his rough hand with her tiny soft one again reminding him of my sister. "You lost all your men before; you took time but eventually came back to the fighting a good fight."

"This time is different Sherry so much different."

She sighed rubbing his hand. "They said when you were rescued from the pod you asked them to go down and save Pier."

He closed his eyes trying hard not to hear her words.

"It took them 8 hours of searching till they gave up on him but you were giving the pilot a hard time. Is it different because you truly lost all of your team this time?"

"No"

"Then explain to me Chris, what could make the man Claire said was the strongest person she knows give up?"

He just want to be alone why can't she understand that. Didn't want to talk or think about him, but if she was anything like Claire he knew she wasn't going to drop it. Before he could find some excuse to make her leave he opened his mouth.

"How would you feel if you lost Jake?" He only asked because it obvious after all they been through, how could they not have feelings like the scars Piers left on me.

"Well that's different isn't it?"

"Is it!?"

She stumbled at the rush of rage Chris had leaked out, he continued before she got a chance to recover.

"Or maybe not I mean you are female and he is male so I guess that is different."

She looked so touched now I was reeling at every word he just said.

"You l-?"

"Doesn't matter it's too late now… He didn't even know. Dammit I didn't even know till it was over. You see why I want to be alone can't I just get that!"

She hugged him putting my face in her small chest. Before he made a decision to either make her get off and get out he was hugging her back. It hurt a lot and he didn't know what to do.

_I was lost…_

* * *

Boo this was over do by a lot but I have school to go to so I don't have time like I did over the break. Anyway this one is going to be Chris POV only, so if you like review, give me some idea's. Like if Piers keeps his BOW powers or not.( PS WTH! is up with the eye color change I been a RE fan since I could hold a game controller HE HAS BLUE now is brown… )


	2. Chapter 2 - Renovate

Yay Chapter two! Okay I want to tell people why I make Chris sound so sappy. Speaking from experience when you are in love and you loss that person be it a break up or anything it hurts… and I found it really infuriating.

The whole food thing was personal experience and I wasn't even looking for love. Though I blame him for flirting xD I was dishonest. So people I'm writing from my heart not my head; I think it's better to regret something you did, not something you didn't do.

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Renovate**

"Hello? No I'm still at Chris' house."

A perky voice waking Chris out of the sleep he unknowingly was in. He feels a little rest after all this months of unkind nights that covered sun was high in the sky; the sunlight was hitting him in the face from the back porch because his head rested in Sherry's tiny lap.

"No Jake I won't be home early enough to make anything just so you make- It's not rocket science, Just turn the knob on the stove just to 350 then sit the chops in there and count down 30 minutes… Yea I know." She sighed

"He isn't dangerous Jake he's…sad. Claire is like family to me and since he is her family then he's mine too. Love you too bye."

Chris finally stir to let her know he's up already.

"Oh. Did you hear all that?" She seems embarrassed.

"Most of it… so you want to be close to another Redfield?"

"I don't see why not, Claire told me so much about your adventure like on Rockfort Island you came all the way out there to save her and what you did in Africa saving the world from Albert Wesker. Chris you may not know it but you gave me a gift." She had fire of gratefulness in her too big eyes.

"What gift?"

"Freedom"

Chris had forgotten she was on his 'need to test' list so when he killed him she got to be free of the government protection facility.

"So this is how I want to use that freedom you honored me with."

_Fuck why everyone is going out of their way for me I don't know. I was broken and shaken, a house that wasn't in any living condition but they keep knocking._ Since he knew she won't leave he tries to use her voice to distract his mind.

"Sherry?"

"Yea?"

"Why do you love Muller?" she was just about as surprised as him when he asked her.

"Chris I don't think it's the same for everyone, but if you think it will help."

He thought about that _'why exactly do I care?'_ but maybe with some luck he could kill his love like he did to the one it was crawling after. What made it so much harder is the fact that he'll never know like he did with Jill. She knew what he felt for her before she blindly saved me.

"It won't but it will distract me from thinking about it too much."

She looked at him with soft eyes touching his cheek before answering, "I think it's mostly because of the fact he use to care a lot. He told me about his mother and how she got sick around the time the money they had saved up started to run out. So he got a job as a mercenary to support them."

She looked at the sunlight daydreaming like she was recreating the story.

"She died before he got back and his heart hardened because he was now alone. She was the only person he ever loved."

"Until now anyway." Chris whispers

She laughed lightly, "Yea, but back to what I was saying. He had me when he refused to leave me when I asked him to run if Simmons was really only using him for tainted purposes. He fought so hard to save me but we both ended up trapped until you saved us."

"Wasn't just me." Chris guess it was only a matter of time till we ran into the subject.

"Sorry"

"It's not your fault. The fault was always me, everyone I love dies I don't have many friends or family left. If I want them to live I have to stay away as long as possible."

"Chris…"

Even she seemed loss for words, then her nose wrinkles.

"You smell… like really bad."

He laugh without humor. "Sorry I haven't been in the bathroom much besides to piss and crap. Not that I do that much… I can't eat a whole lot without feeling like it's trying to come back up."

"Fine then" She pushed me up making me sit up, "lets fix you up."

"You aren't going to sit me in the tub and wash me are you?" _I"m depressed not dead that wouldn't make me feel better._

Laughing she response with, "Who would I be if I babied the legendary Chris?"

Throwing him into the bathroom shutting him in she said she wasn't letting him out until he was clean. Chris didn't see why, he didn't plan stepping foot out of this house.

He remove all my garments getting into the glass all grass door shower, letting the coldness numb me and my mind. I get out after washing the much need areas but let the shower keep running sitting naked on the floor. It takes all my power to stand and just put my clean boxer shorts on.

* * *

"Chris…you okay in there? You've been in there a good 30 minutes."

She paused knocking hard on the down but he couldn't focus on her knocking to submerged in his daydream. All the times he'd yelled or pushed Piers around over revenge. If that bitch was still alive and he wasn't, no amount of talking Leon could do to stop him from killing her.

Piers didn't deserve that; what he did was why Chris cared for him. No one ever forced him to look in a mirror the way he did, every step of the way he was there reminding him he could be the legend he'd once was.

Before he could get his frustration cycle to pass, Sherry walks in.

"Didn't-?" It must have been on his face she just nodded to herself. Helping him with the rope he never used on the bathroom door.

"I need a drink."

"Not so fast Chris I'm not done with you yet." She held up my shaving cream, "Make over."

He sigh not really caring what he looked like or fighting her on about whose allowed to touch the facial hair on his face.

She stares up at him putting it all over my fuzz her expression was one of hope. He stares hoping he could steal some that spark in her eyes while also trying to distract himself. The razor smoothly cutting the hairs she used her hands slowly trying not to nip me with the blade.

"There! You ready to knock 'em dead."

"Was that suppose to be a joke? Beside I don't need to see anyone but my drink."

Shaking her head Sherry led Chris back to the front room to the couch. She left him to go in my kitchen making a smug face. Chris was hoping she was getting him a drink but before he can check she was out the door _'What no byes?'_

Chris needed that drink, wanted his haze to protect him from his own wants making him forget what love is if only for a few minutes so he could sleep.

"What the hell!?" _god no Sherry no._

She returned just as he took a look at the empty pantry that was full of hard liquor. She took them all out and discarded them.

Chris was seething with rage at this act of her trying to fix it reminded him of Piers.

"Sherry…" He was trying not to blow his lid but the anger wasn't something he could stop. "You can't- you… can't fix me like he could this isn't something you can just wash away with a shower and a pep talk."

He close his eyes trying to focus his mind off the pain that was slowly but surely coming, waiting for the perfect time to dropkick him to the floor leaving me unsteady. She wraps her arms around him piercing his personal space yet again but like yesterday he finds myself unfolding; _I had yet to cry one single tear since they gave up on looking for Piers or when I watched his mother ball her eyes out._

It was his turn the silent tears rain with no sign of a quick stop followed by the heavy shudders.

He feel her look up from his chest meeting her gaze she looked like she was about to cry.

"What are you crying for?" trying not to sob by laughing at her.

"I don't like seeing good people cry. Chris I know it hurts I know this is a rough patch but it's never good to go at it alone. I know I'm not your real family but that doesn't make mean I can't help to some degree. You might wish Claire was here instead and she would but till then I'll stay as long as you need company."

She was wrong in some ways, she understand exactly how he felt because she has at one point lost it all but she's still trying to do her best. She was so much like Claire that need to comfort was strong in them. He missed Claire but she didn't need to see him like this.

"You know what might make you feel better?"

* * *

Sherry left to the store and came back to find Chris bundled up in the covers he brought out, she had 5 tubs from ice cream if Chris wasn't so depressed he'd have laughed. He makes room for her on the couch she leans into his shoulder throwing the tubs on the coffee table.

"Sherry you know I can't eat anything much less ice cream right?"

"Are you lactose? "

"No"

"Then be quite and try the cookie and cream its perfect."

Chris was starving but he can't trust his stomach or heart. He normally tried to confused himself in my haze to get a chance to eat anything but if it wasn't the heartache that made him upchuck it was surely the booze.

So he picked up the ice cream she all but forced him to pick up first, while she grabbed the rocky roll handing him a spoon. He takes a spoonful slowly letting it sit for a while.

"So….." she was beaming at me

He nods letting her know he could eat this and that was a shocker and relief too.

"See just like the shows say ice cream is the perfect for a broken heart so eat up."

"Don't you have to get home to Muller?"

"He's not Muller… he's Jake and I did say I'd stay as long as you needed."

Chris didn't want her here if she didn't want to but she was helping him in small bits. Right now she was holding the pieces up just like Claire did when he lost Jill.

"You don't have to; this can't be more fun than being at home."

"Well we will have to just see then won't we?"

She may not know it but every second is a waste if she's hoping he could return to his normal self. The damage is done and it's too late.

* * *

For everyone info there is NO ChrisXSherry going on here. I'm just making up for the fact she won't be in Always Here and I'm a big Sherry fan. I don't know if Ice cream cure heartbreak and I'm still taking request for where this story should go. So if you have time reviews really help tell me if im going in the right direction.


	3. Chapter 3 - Secret

Going on chapter 3 isn't as long as my normal 2k words, I still haven't got to Always Here yet because I like this approach a little better. So R&R and all that, if the slow reach is good enough.

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Secret **

"Brain freeze!" she laughed holding her heads

"Maybe you should slow down. We've been eating Ice cream for two days." Not that he could truly complain.

Sherry refused to believe he'd be fine without having her watch over him. Even when my nightmare fits scared her to no end, even when Jake called she just said 'not yet' which he guessed was the answer to a 'when are you coming home question.'

She just laughs and says, "Wanna try something else then?"

Chris swallowed another ounce of his strawberry ice cream, "I don't think I'm there yet."

She gave him an understanding smile, "well…whenever you're ready just say the word we order out or I can cook. Whichever you feel for; I'm no chief but my cooking isn't half bad if you are hungry."

"Fine" just glad he can get something down his stomach it'd be frustrating if they made food and he couldn't eat it.

"Anyways I really think you should give Claire a call I know she's dying to hear your voice. She called yesterday but you were out cold so I told her you'd call when you got up."

"What would I tell her? That I'm fine and everything is going to be okay. You know that isn't the case so why should I put her hopes up."

She saw he was going to turn it down but he did want to tell Claire not to stress over him she was too good of a person to have this slow her down.

"Chris you really should consider giving yourself a break. Taking on all the responsibility on alone isn't helping you or the people you want to protect." She raised her hand cutting him off, "Saying something about him won't excuse you."

She picked up a lot of his ways in the short amount of time they spent together, studying him whenever she saw something abnormal._ I guess she is a Birkin after all._

"Guilt has two sides to it Chris. Imagine how the people who care for you feel when they see you like this and they can't do anything about it mostly because you won't let them."

"Didn't stop you from trying."

She laughed, "You haven't actually forced me to leave you only suggested it's best that I leave, which I decide to turn down."

"If you keep smiling like that you'll get stuck like that."

She rolled her eyes before removing herself from the couch.

"Someone has to smile around here since you won't."

"Smiling is for chumps and smartasses with the exception of someone who really has something to smile about."

"Which am I under then?" He could hear the sarcasm in her perky voice.

"A smartass"

"Ha-ha… I'll let that slide since all bears have their angry days."

He look down trying to block the memory she would never purposely bring out. She turned to the spot I sat at wondering why I didn't have a comeback.

"Sorry I wasn't trying to put salt in your wounds." He couldn't feel his face on the inside not sure what expression he had there. Felt like on of pure regret or was it anger? "Want to talk about it?"

"No" Chris had to steel my voice so she wouldn't prompt me to talk.

Didn't mean he could stop the damn memory from coming.

* * *

"_Hey Captain!"_

_He search for my young ace voice._

"_Piers?"_

"_Look it's a panda bear."_

_He couldn't understand why he had the urge to ride the dumb thing, but he got he was calling him a bear. In the middle of the war Piers still found something that was normal out of this mess._

"_So" if he'd wasn't so caught up in Ada's mess he would actually let him see his kid side, hell only if he knew._

"_Just messing around cap'n let's get that BOW." Even then he hardly smiled but it's like Chris always thought, 'what the hell do we have to smile about anyway?'_

* * *

'Bing'

"Oh my god" she closed her phone running to the door. "You have to be kidding me."

Chris could hear tires and a purr of an engine followed by the protesting of the tires fighting to stop on the gravel driveway he own.

He was about to suggest she take it outside whatever she was about to deal with wouldn't mix well with him having a… moment.

"Sherry!" Didn't take long for Chris to figure who was charging into his home uninvited not that he invited anyone to begin with. "Lets go now!"

The reddish hair boy stopped at the threshold glaring at Chris. He felt an unnatural dislike for this kid and it had nothing to do with the fact his father was his worst enemy. All this is his fault _'No I shouldn't think like that we had to but if it wasn't for him getting captured Piers would still be alive, at the cost of the world population dropping.'_

He knew he shouldn't be so selfish but in the end he got a bitter ending that save the world and left him with nothing to salvage but unresolved thoughts and feelings.

"Relax there's no reason for you to be yelling." She places a firm hand on his chest trying to back him out the door.

"Sherry, just go I'll be-"

"Fine?" She finished, "You always say that but you're holding the sheets so hard you could split it in half."

Chris look down releasing his white knuckle grip. Jake moved around her looking the place over then turning back to her.

"What I'm I suppose to assume when you spend two whole days at another man's house." He glared at Chris again, he wanted reply that she was way too young for me but he'd be dumb to set himself for that when Sherry knew Piers isn't much older than her.

She grabbed Jake's wrist yanking him so he'd look at her. "You were supposed to assume that what I told you was the truth." She sighed

"Muller you have a good woman don't mess it up." Chris couldn't decide if he deserved what he was getting.

"I don't need advice from you or anyone else. Everyone's so worried about you and your '**state**' but maybe it's only me that can see that you are a man. So Sherry want to tell me why you have to babysit a grown ass man."

"It's not as simple as it looks and I'm not really babysitting" which Chris would happily disagree with, "I'm just helping a friend Jake."

"I promised I'd keep quiet so you could get a chance to explain but this wasn't part of the deal."

_A deal?_

She gave him a look that said 'shut the hell up now' but now Chris was curious. "What deal?"

Her glare deepened but Jake just turns to make grinning smile, "Your little friend isn't dead you moron-"

He was still ranting but Chris couldn't even focus on anything he was saying besides the first sentence, but that made no since all the searching he'd did before made was sure without a doubt he was the same time it made perfect sense, the reason he didn't find one piece of evidence Piers was even in the facility was; it was because someone beat him to it. Even still, _how and why are they keeping this from **me ** of all people?_

I finally focus on the full rage argument between Sherry and Jake.

"NO it wasn't right to tell him look at him!"

"It's called shock anyone would get it if some asshole decided it was good to hide something big like that."

She shook her head, "So you think it was a good idea to just spring it on him know he might not even long pass the surgery!? You ever stop thinking about yourself long enough to consider what that might do to him!"

"Can't be worst then what he's already doing to himself."

She balled her tiny first up, "You're wrong the situation isn't what you think."

He looked like he was getting tired of the conversation. "Then why don't y-"

"ENOUGH!" Chris was outraged they are going to tell him everything or else. He throw myself off the couch halting in front of Muller. "Tell me what's going on and I want the truth **now**."

"Wait I'll tell you everything it's the least I can do." He wanted to yell at her to hurt her for keeping something so big from him while pretending to care about him.

_Her young eyes reminded me of the time Claire borrowed my favor handgun to practice her shots and ended up dropping it down a sewer hatch. I yelled at her of course, but she couldn't look me in the eyes for a week without knowing how mad she made me.__I didn't need that kind of guilt on me again._

"Fine"

She sat down on the couch putting her story together. "Where should I start?"

"Where is he?"

She looked at him with a look he assumed was doubt, "three hours from here."

Unbelievable if he was in Wisconsin he'd be in B.S.A.A. Green Bay camp. "Some specific would be more then helpful." he couldn't keep the acid out his voice.

She surrendered with a sigh, "Green Bay."

My body moved before I gave it the command.

"Chri- Chris wait!" if she wouldn't have grabbed his wrist he would have sped away to HQ.

"Sherry I can't, you know I can't. This might be the only chance I get."

"You think that'll make it any better? If you say it and he still doesn't make it?"

He pieced their early conversation together. "So he's dying?"

"No it's complicated… the C-virus is unpredictable. Sometimes there are really good results and then there are some cases when nothing good comes from the vaccine."

I don't get what this had to do w me seeing him. I at less needed that if not anything. "I still need to see him. You understand that right? A proper goodbye if he doesn't make it."

Her eyes soften, "If that's what you need then I'm all in."

He was starting to form hope; He wasn't going to let Piers die twice not if he could do something about it.

"Lets go"

* * *

R&R, Piers will be here finally get his face time. Update should be soon so stay tuned. (need to rewrite the rest of my chapters :C)


	4. Chapter 4 - Complications

Sorry for the late update put its here so enjoy and all that.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Complications**

_Christ just driving this slowly is killing me and it doesn't help that I didn't really feel like sharing space with Sherry. I honestly felt betrayed, but could you blame me for being pissed off but she just jumped in my hefty jeep. If I wasn't in a hurry I just might have picked her skinny ass up and toss her in Muller's car._

"Chris I'm sorry." Like she was sync with his train of thought. "I wasn't tryi-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

She sighed, "Well I guess I should have seen that coming."

The ride from Ashland to Marshfield was just tense he was trying his best to ignore the girl sitting next to him. Sighing each time when it looked like she had something to say. "Chris?"

Chris couldn't help laughing with no humor at her poor excuse to watch over him. _I'm a fucking idiot to fall for shit like that, it wasn't the first time someone lied to me._

"It's not what you think you know? No one sent me to lie and watch you." She continued when he didn't respond, "I really did just come to make you feel better, but everyone agreed to keep it from you till we knew he would be ok."

"So keeping me mourning was better than having me worried and who is everyone?" The frustration breaking the silent treatment he was dutifully giving her.

"That would be me, Jake, Leon, Jill, and Helena but mostly Jill. Well not really Jake he thought you should have known but the way it's looking. He hasn't come out of his comatose state since Leon and Helena find him returning in a chopper. When they brought him to the B.S.A.A. they might have killed him if Jill didn't force her hand."

His chest felt tight which is why he needs to see Piers before he really leaves him behind. "Dammit, Sherry that still didn't mean you should have kept something this important from me. What if it was Jake in there?"

Her jaw hung like she was trying to find words but couldn't. "I didn't think it was like that between you two."

He sighed it's really not all her fault, "Well it's not. Not for him anyway… I doubt he even considered trying to find out what or who he likes it's always the mission for Piers."

"I doubt that." She read the silent question on his face, "I just don't think someone would do all that just for a mission granted the world did depend on Haos not leaving that place alive. It's hard to believe there wasn't more to it than that."

He let that sit '_Could Piers really have done all for me?_' not likely, but that wasn't the first time Piers recklessly save him.

"Chris let me ask you this."

He turned back to Sherry, "what is it?"

"Think about it like this. Would you have done the same for him? Switch spots if you had a second chance?" He wanted to reply with 'hell yes without a doubt' but only says "yea."

"I think that kind of says as much."

He shakes his head, "but I'm his captain every move could be pure loyalty with Piers like it always was." _I'd save him because I'm head over heels for the younger man, that didn't mean he was that way… right?_

* * *

She let him pull all his thoughts together while they drive into Steves Point almost an hour left till they make it to him. "Tell me what I should be ready for."

She blinked looking like she was close to sleep, "Huh what? I'm sorry what'd you say?"

He couldn't help a small grin, "I said 'what is the condition I should be expecting?' You said he wasn't well."

"They had to keep him with the infection due to the unknown strand and the fact that it was the whole reason why he survived the explosion. Since he hasn't woken in all these months we can't assume that if we remove it he'll just wake up fine and ready to go. Removing the virus might actual kill him if we aren't prepared for every outcome."

"So he's been out?"

"Eight months if I'm correct, Jakes been helping a lot with the blood samples they need to make a vaccine. The flip side is since the strand is mixed with Jake's blood he's most likely will retain some B.O.W. properties."

_Ok that brought me up short_. "What good could come from that? He'll only get people looking at him like a freak or something?" _Not that I'd let them get the word out._

"Even if what you're thinking was the case, we all know Piers is a hero among many. What I'm talking about isn't really physical."

"Oh" When Chris thinks of B.O.W. it's ugly, hideous and inhuman looking, "Then what are you yammering about?"

She smiled at his rudeness. "They won't be able to remove some attributes like the enhanced strength, regeneration time and electrical charge. I say flip side because I know exactly what Pier will have to endure and it can be bad or good."

"So he'll still be my Piers right?" Panic hits him then but he controls his expressions before she could read into it.

She laughs lightly, "Not in the sense but yea he should still be the same man who pushed you into the pod therefore saving you. At less his skull was well protected so there's no brain damage of any kind."

_That's good so I don't have to make him remember me, however he'll remember every bad moment too… and there are more bad then good 'shit._' "Good"

"I can see why you're worried, it'd hurt me to if someone I loved forgot about me." She put on her all-knowing grin. "Chris"

He waited for her to keep going but she just left his name hanging there. "What?" finally turning to see what she was doing, she had a calculating look. "Well I was wondering, exactly what are you going to tell him if- no when he wakes up.?"

_Not sure what I should say if he wakes up. I can't just blurt out 'I love you' he might actually go back into a coma saying crap like that._ "Well I'm not going to tell him _I love you_… "

"What but why not"

"Well I want to ease it on him without making him run away or something." But nothing is worse than him actually saying something like I'm disgust.

"Hey don't laugh Sherry… I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this anyway." He could feel heat in his cheek something that hasn't happened in the last 8 months.

"Sorry, but anyway I'll be your… wing woman? Yea that's about right." He could hear the teasing in her voice.

"Hey that reminds me, y- you haven't told anyone else right?" He wasn't ready for that kind of attention.

"I haven't but I'm sure anyone who knows you might be able to put two and two together." His mind races to Jill but he knew if that was the case she would be supportive. She was his rock in a weird best friend kind of way.

"Hey mind if we stop for a snack I'm starving, plus a coffee would do us both some good." It was starting to get dark and sitting in this Jeep 'for almost 2 hours and 30 minutes' was hurting his ass.

"Sure"

* * *

They pulled over at some old rusty Shell gas station, Jake parking next to them. Chris let Sherry go without him he just wants to get to Green Bay port. Jake hopped out swiftly moving to Sherry grabbing her hand before going inside. "Possessive bastard"

He couldn't find help but find Muller's unneeded act of 'marking what's his' funny. If Chris told him what he really wanted he'd most likely run home and bury himself inside the covers. Chris started to picture what I'd say.

_'Muller you don't have to worry about me stealing Sherry because I want to fu-' damn maybe that's a little too much; even if it's just to get him off my back._

He could feel the heat building in his cheeks yet again, when they came out. They kiss quickly before separating. Must be nice to get what you want.

"Here" She threw Chris a muffin, "I wasn't sure what you'd like so I got you that since I hear bears love blueberries" finishing with a humorous grin.

"Err thanks" The rest of the way was mostly silence besides the mini questions Chris had about her personal life.

Finally making their way into Green Bay moving to the river port of town moving in the a traffic a little to fast with impatient getting the better of him.

"God Chris slow down we'll make it there in like 5 minutes if you don't kill us in a car crash." Sherry was trying to hold on to the dashboard so she would fly forward in case he hit the brakes to fast. They make it to Bay port in 3 minutes instead thanks to his driving.

They make fast work of the toll guards making their way on the two road bridge that lead to the lake base HQ of Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance North America, sitting high on a platform and huge like a super dome. Chris all but tackle his door down trying to get out fast enough.

"Hey moron nice driving." He ignores Muller walking to the fully grass lobby to check in but as soon as he gets into the door Jill's there, arms over her chest with a disapproving look on her face when she saw Sherry behind.

"Chris what are you doing here?"

He gives her a no non-sense look, "Where is he Jill?"

She turned to Sherry but Muller was already explaining. "I told him not her, so if you're going to give someone crap give it to me."

_Got to give him credit for being a man who can take credit for what it's due._ "We had an agreement that-"

"Where is he!?" _I didn't have time for this._

Jill looked like she wanted to laugh at his outburst but shakes her head and sighs, "I guess my hands are tied then now aren't they?" he nods. "Fine then, follow me"

They are led upstairs B.S.A.A. private medical quarters and research base. Widows lined up every 4 feet looking like black wall paper on the white walls. We the medical lab with a transparent small room in the middle only letting so many in there.

"Nice to see you again big guy." Chris turn noticing the slender looking man with his usual teen vampire haircut.

"Leon"

He wasn't really happy with anyone in this room right now but he didn't feel like addressing that issue right now, but before he could get to ask for the third time Leon points to the transparent room across doorway Chris was standing at. "Hope you like what you see."

Ignoring his corny ass jokes he walks over to the clear wall his heart feels so tight in his chest. Chris' heart pauses when he takes in Piers sleeping form in a hospital gown, but the right side of the robe was perfectly cut most likely because his arm was still infected like Sherry warned.

"This is my fault." He never seen Piers look so life less tubes everywhere it stabbed his heart so painfully. _I did this to him; I made him do the unthinkable. Making him think the mission should be successful no matter the cost._

Even like this he knew he'd still had the same feelings for this idiot, knew he'd still be willing to trade places, even knew he would cared for him till he had enough of me. He deserves so much better than this.

But Chris knew all this because he loved him, so what's his excuse; for why he's laying on a bed hanging onto life by a tread.

Sherry came up behind him rubbing his back because unlike most of the people in this room she knew the exact amount of pain he's hiding.

"I'm so sorry Piers"

* * *

Well that was just sweet if I do say so myself. I really made Chris sappy but doesn't love do that to most? Anyway leave your thoughts in the Reviews this story is finally starting to kick off.


	5. Chapter 5 - Plans and Ideas

A/N: Jeez another overdue chapter, my Supernatural ship Destiel which have become really hard to stop reading but whatever here. Thanks to the people who left good reviews and my followers. Enjoy

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**Chapter 5 – Plans and Ideas**

1 2 3…4 5 6...7 8 9 10 The frustrating sighs passing out every 10 seconds never stopped. _What? It's been almost three hours and I still wasn't allowed to go inside the room with Piers. So I could only watch his sleeping form and the steady lifting of his chest that told me he was still alive but only barely.I need to get in there this all felt surreal to be this close to him. I could trust my brain like I use to, it tricked me many times. To be honest I wish it wasn't. I wanted this to be so much different but I'd have to be a fucking idiot to think anyone could come out with no scars. There would have to be a lot of consoling he would need._

Chris can't seem to keep it together today slipping the depression away so the guilt didn't need to share his head. _'Is having Pier here in any form better than him being dead?'_ knowing that was a big hell no. He'd take the depression any day then sit here watching Piers die, but since he is here I couldn't just not come let him wake (if he even does at all) and think I didn't care enough to stay. Piers wouldn't take it personal because he was a soldier but he wouldn't understand he was not expendable; not because he was the man who never missed or a loyal soldier who followed Chris so blindly.

_The idiot invested all that time in me without thinking what the side effects. If I was any less man I'd kill myself, hating this god damn Twilight moment. I really hated how I had become like some awful girl who had some guy fix me up and fall in love._

Chris couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that seeped from the cracks in his brain, earning some frighten looks._ 'Yea I'm going mad.'_

"Here 'What's so funny?" Little Sherry sneaking up on him, he hadn't noticed she returned. She changed into white long sleeved V-neck shirt with jeans and some boots. She had a nicely wrapped sandwich in his hand.

"Nothing…thanks"

"Didn't look like nothing." Chris shrugged so she would leave the subject alone, "You think you could eat that or are you still unsure?" he unwrapped and all but devour the small sandwich in three bites. "I guess that answers my question."

"This is bullshit; we should be able to at less go in." She just smiles with understanding, "Did you talk to the Doctors? Are they coming in or not?"

"Kind of sort of… They are just about finished testing the different strand reactions and they finally found one that had a good outcome-" blinked rapidly, "breathe Chris it's going to be fine."

He hadn't realized he'd stop breathing all together biting his lip so hard almost draw blood. "Sorry" that's the best news he heard since the four hours he'd been sitting here.

"You probably should get some rest they want to test the vaccine a few times before giving it to Pi- don't make that face. If they just give it to him without doing proper testing this could kill him so be patient." She leaned in whispering from Leon who was making calls, "I know you really need to talk to him… but if you love him then you won't take any risks that could kill him."

"Thanks but I don't think I can sleep just yet."

"Okay you have my number if you need me."

"You are going somewhere?"

"Yep"

He laughed, "I was starting to think you didn't know how to get off my back." She rolled her eyes before exiting the room Muller waiting on the other side glared at me.

Again he thought the idea of embarrassing him (and himself in the process) wasn't looking all that bad._ 'I'll get my chance just not today Muller.'_ thinking maybe he'll even tell him about…_no didn't need to make a big deal out of a crush I had on a mad man._

"So you ok with this now that you know?" Chris was still plotting when Leon broke my focus.

He still didn't much feel like conversing with Leon or Jill, which is why Jill was out doing who fucking knows what. These two pissed him off the most but at less Jill was giving him space to clear his head but Leon's nonchalant, calm aura was making Chris want a round two with the guy.

He was half pissed half grateful to Leon nonetheless he saved Piers unlike himself but why keep it secret from him was running in his head? Didn't seem like something Leon was game for. Why was he still here anyway didn't he have better things to do then sit around here?

"Better? Do I look better?" raised one eyebrow, "I been in the dark for months and then I have to find out from Muller in a rage of jealously that my panther never died. I did you a favor by not killing that bitch but you go behind my back to hide something I damn sure would want to know."

Leon chuckled amused by he's anger, "Well I only agreed because Jill thought it was a good plan. If I were you of course I'd want to know but she truly believed that this was the best plan. Has for why I'm here I was playing moral support…at less until he woke up and stabilized then we agreed to tell you. The favor you made was false information."

"False?"

"You told me she was dead right before she saved, help and me and Helena take Simmons down."

"What?" that made no sense, I seen her get shot right in the heart and dropping nearly 5 stories down. No one could survive a fall that high, at less not a human. "I saw it! Are you calling me a liar?"

"No" he looked Chris in the eyes, "I just need to clear a few things up but Ada won't be found unless she wants to, but she always did play hard to get."

_Ada was still alive? What the hell!_ "These days' people just don't seem to want to stay dead."_ Not that I mind Piers being here 100%_.

"You can say that again…"

Leon was never really a close friend but Chris bet they could if they ever tried, they were both being men of hardship. Leon was really impressive he had looks and skills, and maybe a little bit wiser.

They sat in awkward silent for a while Leon finally decided to break the silence. "When he wakes up" Chris tried not to smile at his positive outlook, "What do you plan to do about him? Take him to his parents I or something?"

"Is it even up to me?"

Leon sighed and scratched his stub of facial hair, "I guess not… it all depends on what he wants?"

As much as Chris would love for Piers to pick him why would he. Sure he was his captain but I'm sure family could comfort him a lot better.

"I'd take him in if he asked for my help."

"Hm… but what are you going to tell him when he finally gets around." _'Geez Leon with the two thousand questions'_ Chris could have replied in a lot of different ways.

He could picture himself saying mean, stupid, and maybe some really sappy stuff,_ 'Piers (you dumbass, Are you ok, Morning, I love so much don't ever do that again; _but he only let him know the one he'd be okay with saying._ "_I don't know."

He laughed, "Well I better get out of here, I'll be in town in case the kid wakes up."

He couldn't help the frown from crossing my face. "He isn't a kid."_ I mean I still called him kid but that's so I get him to show something beside the façade he so proudly wears. It works though earning me a small frown._

"Well whatever catch you on the flip side Chris." With that he was out the door. So I just sat on the couch and watched Piers.

* * *

He hadn't noticed he fell asleep so it confused him when to wake to the all-white room. Jake and Sherry were talking quietly in the corner which gave him a chance to appraise the room. Almost everything was white making him a little uneasy, only the couch he was occupying which was sleek black. Desk and chairs everywhere as soon as you get inside the door. A lot like a hospital lobby only smaller and not as packed.

He catches Jake glaring at him again. "Take a picture Muller it would last longer." voice sounding dry from sleeping to long.

"Bite me old man"

Ignoring him he looked to Sherry, "What time is it?"

"4 pm, you were out for some time. I told you to rest and you end up sleeping for 9 hours. You'll miss a lot of you are sleep all day."

"You wouldn't let me miss anything to big so I'm not too worried."

"True" she smirked making Jake twitch but said nothing.

The door opened Jill came in followed by three white coats but before Chris could get a good look at them she gestured for him to follow her as she moved across the room to the transparent open Piers was behind. "Don't you want to come in?"

"Yes"

Finally there going to let him go in break down this invisible wall that kept him at bay. She unlocked the door with a pair of keys he didn't have because of his leave. She stepped aside nodding for him to go in ahead. He could feel the heat in my chest burning up as he walked into the wired up room.

He stop at Piers' table taking in the full extent of his injures. He still looked like the man who had pushed him into the pod. The arm was throbbing rapidly and continuously like it was a frantic heartbeat. Chris felt the air get knocked out of me looking at what his model-like face has become.

The tube jabbed down Piers' mouth alone with several different IVs and tubes going everywhere. All Chris wants was to touch his face but he could he wasn't his to touch. He took his hand instead it felt so cold but soft like a dead body, the only thing that kept him from thinking he wasn't was the pulse in his wrist and the rise of his chest.

He couldn't look away from Piers marred face, "You were so brave soldier, dumb but brave. You could have been a captain now if you hadn't pulled that stunt. Now look at this… look what you've done to yourself." He laughed, "I wonder how piss you're going to be when you get up. I bet the first thing you'll worry about is if the mission was completed."

Chris could feel eyes watching him have a one way conversation so he tried not to let the tears that were surely trying to find an escape.

"I never got a chance to say thanks. Or even a chance to hit you for being an idiot." Each breathe was a shaky one, he had to close his eyes not trusting his voice.

When he felt the tightness in his throat leave he wanted Piers to know he at less care. "Piers you have to make it. If not for yourself then if me anyone anything. Fight it like the soldier I know you are." His voice sounds close to begging and desperation, but he couldn't care less he just need him alive_ 'is that too much to ask for?'_

He didn't want to leave but the white coats started to fill the room only giving him one sentence.

"It's time"

* * *

Hmm better got to get the Hurt out of the way for some Comfort then ROMANCE! :P I'll try not to wait too long to update but might have to let this Destiel heat wave is over for a day to day update xD.

Anyway leave you thought dislike in the reviews.


	6. Chapter 6 - Unexpected

**A/N**: I really hate going slow when all I want to do is write a lot of fluff crap xD. Piers is so close to getting up so bear with me our young soldier is on his way. PS I had to change the narration I hate the I's being used it's still in Chris POV just not going to say I, btw anyone has a muse they want to let me burrow? LOL

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**Chapter 6 – Unexpected **

**Does he make you high, make you real?**

**Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?**

**Love is all around you, your universe is full**

**But in my world, there is only you**

**My World by SR-71**

Chris had to leave the room clearly everyone could see the inner conflict he was having to either protest or just comply. Jill insurance and Sherry never ending patient smiles to trust the white coats would try their best to get Piers back to his 'normal' self or all less not as J'avo looking as he does now.

They moved around his pulsing arm spitting short sparks when they touched it. They started moving out some of the tubes and removed some IVs to replace it with a full green looking bag which he was guessing is the vaccine.

"Lets cross our fingers and hope for the best" Sherry breaths quietly trying to comfort me and maybe herself too.

"You don't have to be here you know."

"Quit mumbling I can hardly understand what you're saying, and I do need to be here…for now anyway."

"Why?"

"Well he's important to you right?"

With a sigh Chris reply, "Yes."

"Well then I that means I have to stay." He couldn't see what she was getting to too focus on working like ants over Piers dead-like body. "No it doesn't, it means that I have to be here but you don't have to."

"Okay then I want to be here has support. No one should be here have to be alone if-" She broke of feeling the tension in the air. "Beside I'd like to think Piers is a friend in a small way, saving me and Jake a handful of times. The world would lose a really good guy if he died."

They watched in silence watch the take records making chances, Chris had to steady himself several time when the heart monitor jump and slipped beat sighing in relief that it hasn't flat line. So focus on the unfolding scene he didn't notice Leon come in the lobby until he placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"I missed anything good?" Leon attempt at humor like always

"Hey Leon and no nothing really they kind of just started five minutes ago." She moved around Chris pulling Leon in a short hug. Chris had almost forgotten Leon was also one there with her and Claire in that nightmare of the Raccoon City "incident".

"Good because I almost forgot my popcorn, what a show without it hm?" Earning a well place elbow in the ribs from Sherry "Ouch"

"That is so not funny. Be a little more considerate of other people Leon."

"I was trying to step on anyone toes…so Chris you hanging in there?" Not tearing his eyes from Piers he nods, "Well nice to see you to…no I'm fine thanks for asking." Sherry laughed at his show of "hurt" feelings.

He couldn't concentrate on anything else that wasn't Piers related. His mind is filled with a hundred worries and concerns that went unspoken but were clearly written on his face_. 'Is he in pain can he hear us how long is this going to take'_ things of that nature.

"He's going to be okay."

"You don't know that."

"I think I should given I'm a survivor who had direct contact with a G-virus but Claire and Leon didn't give up on me and I leave to see this day to pass on this hope. "

Leon laughed, "I have to give most of the credit to Claire in that department. She's like some kind of born mother hen."

That made Sherry muse before voicing what she was thinking. "I think she was only doing what Chris did for her when she was young."

"Yea, there's nothing like family is there? Sorry you know what mean" He amended when he saw the sad look in her eyes.

"No its fine in the end I know they still loved me… I miss them but isn't it like that for everyone who losses someone."

"Sherry" She turns to Jake who gestured for her to follow him out the door. She give Chris forearm before following him out the lobby.

Finally the white coats start leaving the medical room walking right out the lobby most likely back to the lab with the records two stayed behind walking up to Chris breaking his gaze on the young soldier. "Captain Redfield pleasant to finally meet you" Reaching her hand out to shake his.

He wasn't really in the mood for chit chat all the muscles in his neck tense. This whole day seem to be endlessly stressful but he had to act normal noticing Jill was studying him heavily. He took the hand of the slim coffee hand lady with the tag Garcia on it her hair in a bun with thin glasses framing her face.

"My names Doctor Garcia, but you probably figured that out," She tugged her tag. "Anyways I heard so much about you and Mr. Nivans men who saved the world from the greatest B.O.W. built. If you two hadn't been there who knows what the world would be right now."

Chris had to fight the temptation of liking the idea of him not being there to fight that thing. Watching the world burn with Piers at his side knowing he had a reason to keep fighting and Piers would always be there to fight with him no matter the odds as long as they both got out unmarred.

To say she had no idea what we went through in that hell on earth. Thinking how funny it was that people thought they knew how he was feeling. Piers is the only true hero it twisted his heart in ways he didn't think capable.

So not to upset the small lady he tells her, "Thanks" but he'd never be able to accept those kinds of titles from people who regarded him so highly.

"Well I'll be standing by since I'm in charge of this operation but don't fret I plan to make this go as smooth as possible. I think the long months of study and preparation will pay off without a misgiving." Chris hoped she was just trying to soothe me like everyone else.

"I always like a woman with glasses." Leon draws Dr. Garcia's attention to give Chris a piece of mind.

"Chris" Jill finally gets up from the table where she was studying him from. "We need to talk… outside please it won't take too long."

The look she had made it clear that if he didn't follow then she'd say it in the open mortifying him. "Fine" He could tell this conversation was going to be uncomfortable.

We make our way out the lobby to the long white hallway filled with a few white coats and a few B.S.A.A. agents either in recovery or visiting those injured. I remember coming here after Albert's fall with Jill healing from the chest wound she still has as a scar today.

"You want to tell me something?" Jill blurts out not being good at easing others into conversation but by know he was fully aware of her ways.

"Do I?"

"That's what I want to know? Chris…me and you have work together for a long time. We have overcome so much no matter the odds, but it wasn't always out of our own power. People lay their life's down for us to do what we signed up to do so losing people hurt I get it I do, but this is different I never seen you so defeated and lost and it's scaring the hell out of me. This is why I didn't want to tell you if losing him like that did **this **I can'timagine how it'll be if this procedure fails!" she had to catch her breathe letting the air calm her nerves.

Chris knew she was right if Piers died right here in front of him he'd die there right next to him if not physically but inside like he was scooped out with an ice cream spoon leaving behind the empty box.

"So do you have something you want to tell me Chris I could help you? Haven't I always helped you?"

He already knew what I was going to say. 'The B.S.A.A. needs him.' "What?" she blinked surprised like Chris told her some shocking but anticipated answer. "What did you just say?"

"The B.S.A.A needs him?"

She smirked, "That's not what you said dare." That's what it sounded like to he said when he opened my mouth.

"Jill?"

A smile crossing her face ever so slowly it was creepy like the Grinch who stole Christmas. "You said 'you need him' that's exactly what you said." Frowning he hadn't noticed that slip but Jill always seemed to get under his skin he might have really done it before his brain could agree with my mouth.

"I didn't- I meant" Not quite sure what he should say under her blue eyed gaze, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So that's what makes this different? Even from me right? God Chris I knew you had a thing for both but I never knew you'd find the one here."

"What are you getting at Valentine?"

She smiled, "You're in love with Pier Nivans the Ace, your Lieutenant." Chris could feel the heat build in his neck and cheek only proving what she said harder to deny.

"Are you insane? That would be inappropriate."

Shrugging that off, "I think it's kind of kinky if you ask me…So have you two fornicated yet or did you not have a chance?" Chris face was as red as a stop light thinking, 'God fuck did she just say fornicate?' "Make him call you captain or something like that?" If it wasn't for the situation he was in he would happily do gratification to that mind imagine.

"Jill…cut it out! You can't tell anyone not a soul this is my problem."

"Wait a minute. He doesn't know does he?" Chris shakes his he no longer trying to fool a woman who knew you to well. "Why not? With those looks you two always share I kind of assumed it was a two way street."

"Looks?" Chris was very aware of the hazed looks he pull on Piers but pull away when the younger man felt eyes on him.

"It's nothing might be my wishful thinking."

"You're wishing for crap like that?" he wasn't sure if he should be happy for her support or freaked out.

"Don't you think you deserve one happy ending for once and not this story that ends in death?" She steeled herself being serious with sadness in her eyes for her friend. "You locked yourself up over this; Sherry said you had trouble eating and nightmares when you slept that's not something I ever want to see. Piers now has the power to break you even if it's not on purpose… so excuse me if I'm wishing for something good to happen to you."

Chris felt his heart shudder from Jill support and care, "Thanks Jill." She rubbed his arm letting him know she was always there. "Chris promise me two things" she wait on his nod, "You'll keep living no matter the outcome I know it's going to be hard but killing yourself would really make everything he did redundant." She glared at me with knowing eyes then pulled into a smile, "and invite me to your wedding kay?"

"Shut up" making her laugh at his blushed that returns with her side joke, "You can really be a pain in the ass sometimes."

"You love me for it so it's okay." She grinned, "So you are replacing me with Sherry? What's that about huh?"

"Wh-huh?"

"You have Jake Muller all enraged over her spending the night over there. You didn't you know… touch her did you? Seeing that you like younger people know or it just Piers?"

"No I didn't touch her nothing happened and age doesn't matter to me it's just… him, I don't really look at anyone else."

She had an awed look in her eyes making Chris feel too sappy for his size. He never let many people see his soft side only three people knew he had one all of them weren't the one he want to show it to at this very second.

"Teddy bear"

Frowning at his longtime friend who has always given him support and had his back no matter what, he still was annoyed enough to till her "Shut up"

They stare out the window watching the sun over the trees and lake that surrounds the camp. A rapid beeping came from the door across the window they were standing at white storming into the run. Only bad new could come from that sound the heart monitor going as fast as a humming bird.

Chris had to push and tackle several doctors out of the way to enter the room what he seen made his whole frame go pale.

"PIERS!"

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**A/N:** Hahaha cliffhangers are so fun and entertaining don't you think so? It's like I said on the last update sorry for the late update Castiel and Dean are robbing my attention but I want to finshs this story get Beta and do my first AU with supernatural! Again leave your thoughts in the reviews and I'll try to put the new update up soon.


	7. Chapter 7 - Blazing Hot

**A/N**: For starters I'd like to thank Kariyen for giving me some 'in your face details' **pulsing room** what the hell T.T fail 'facepalm' yea I know. Being the gentleman I am thanks for that! (rich man laugh)… What? What do you guys mean you don't care?! Fine here's the story! Enjoy~

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Blazing Hot**

**No one compares**

**You stand alone, to every record I own**

**Music to my heart that's what you are**

**A song that goes on and on**

**Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez **

_No no no this can't be happening not to him._ The transparent room was set ablaze it was the same imagine that hunted Christopher Redfield for so many months. Piers has caught fire not just any kind of fire but mutation of the next stage something Chris has seen more than he ever wanted to.

"Ahhh!" Piers' scream spills into the room making Chris world flip upside down jerking him into another world. This world was the one where he failed to save them Flint Marco Andy Ben now Piers. His hazel eyes hid no pain has he wailed out loud landing on his Captain. Chris was frozen there looking at them not know what to do, he couldn't hear the pants Sherry made or saw the shocked expression Leon was wearing or the orders Jill was yelling. "CHRIS!"

_I'm coming Piers just hang in there for me I won't let you go just yet!_

Chris was happy he brought his nine o nine with him; he hadn't thought he'd need it but now was the time. Pushing people in the lobby to make way for the room, doctors yelled protested but none were stronger than him which he was grateful for making it to the door with no trouble.

The scene was horrifying; the slick casing the C-virus made was half covering Piers and it was slowing. He was so close you could hear his labor pain. The cocoon wrapped around the wires terrifying the doctors who retreated to the safety of the lobby.

"Get the flamethrowers now we have to stop this now!" Doctor Garcia was in a panic she froze when Chris jumped the crowed placing himself in front of Piers who reached out with his left hand that was slowly casing up. "Mr. Redfield you have to get back now!"

Chris paid her no mind grabbing Piers' burning hot hand, "You hang in there you can fight this Piers you're the strongest person I know." Chris breathing was as heavy as Piers'

Piers couldn't find his voice through the immense burning he was feeling. He gripped Chris hand before pushing him away; the movement reminded Chris of the day in China. Piers was now fully cocooned wires and tubes made the seen look a lot like a butterfly casing on a leaf.

The door opened behind him as several B.S.A.A. members came in with flamethrowers ready to destroy Piers before he had the chance to hatch out. Chris jumped to his feet returning in front of the table Piers was on.

"Sir we need you to step back it is too dangerous for us to let it hatch." Doctor Garcia approaches Chris and nearly got winded the force of his push knocking her back to the door. Everyone froze as Chris pointed his pistol crowd trying to enter the room.

"Chris" Jill spilt pass the crowd to stand in front of Chris palms up to show she was unarmed, "Just calm down we're all on the same side. No one move…everyone back out let me and Chris talk."

"But ma'am"

"That was an order I wasn't asking for anyone's permission." All the soldiers and white coats retreated on Jill's sturdy glare, "Okay Chris slowly put the gun down no one's going to touch him."

After hearing her assures, he lowered his gun and turn back to Piers with a pained look. "It's happening all over again… just like in Edoina. Now he turning into one of those **things now** and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Jill grabbed both of his forearms forcing him to look at her, the tears falling from Chris friend almost faltered her resolve but she knew what had to happen and soon. "Chris let me do this… you shouldn't have to watch this or be involved."

"I can't let anyone do it."

"Can you?"

He close his eyes tightly wishing all this was a dream, a real bad dream he'd wake up from soon. Jill could almost hear the conflict in his head, they were both soldiers and partners but he would always be her friend first. She held him in a tight embrace trying to convert that it would work out somehow.

"No I can't hurt him."

She released Chris to look him in the eyes, "You know I can't just sit here he'll kill the first second he hatches." Chris shook his head not wanting to believe Piers could be changed. She was about to push the issue farther but time was up as the horrid sound of asphalt cracking. A perfect smooth hand broke from the case but before anyone could make sense of it there was a flashing light and everything went black.

* * *

Chris was somewhere dark and lonely. The darkest spread for what seemed like miles to Chris leaving him disoriented and a little uneasy. "Chris?" He knew that voice; it was the same one he so secretly yearned to hear. "Captain…"

He turned to the source to see him, to see Piers' perfet lips form his name softly rolls off them. Chris noticed something was different about this Piers. It took him a while to realize this man was the unbroken perfect and strong Piers he cared for and admired.

He wanted to call out to him show some recognition that he was here for him. Pier broke into a smile that could destroy even the coldest hearted person, but his smile shortly turned to a heavy scowl then look of angry and betrayal. His face changed with his expressions showing the Piers that is dangerous and powerful fused with the C-virus in terrible ways.

"This is your entire fault!" Chris already knew this but hearing it from Piers made it ten times worst doing foreign things to his heart. "Look at me! I'm a monster because of you! Everyone who has ever trusted you are let down and you call yourself a '**captain**' you're no captain! A joke that's what you are a big fucking **joke**!"

Chris could feel himself drowning in Piers' harsh words feeling the power of them with each word. He want to approach Piers tell him how sorry he was for letting him down but he could do nothing but stand in place staring at Piers' scowl wanting to change it make him see that even if he was a failure he never stop thinking about him.

Before he could find the effort to speak Piers faded into the darkness…

_What's that smell? Smells like burnt tar and shit. _Chris head felt like he'd been hit by a truck… and more than once. Opening his eyes to a big bright, blue room he looked around looking at the room he recognize was the infirmary four bed lined up on the far wall curtains between each bed for privacy.

He located the smell which looked like the vest he had over his plain black t-shirt. It looks like it had been put in a short fire and was put out without the use of water. His train of thought was interrupted when the double doors open with Sherry and Jill walking in both let out an air of relief. They both stand on the side of his bed.

"Good to see you still among the living." Jill was teasing but the joy she is feeling is clear in her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"You tell me I can't remember a single thing…" Last he remembers was the cocoon hatch the memory made him shudder then he remembered the hand. "Piers is he?"

Chris expected some god awful news that he failed to save him.

Sherry put on a big smile that rivaled the sun, "Surprisingly he is doing really well!" The news brought with it a light touch to ex-captain heart making the room spin, "We thought you might have got the worst of it." The look Chris made urge to clarify what she meant with she was all too happy to do.

"Piers' body produced a short electrical field and you were standing to close, nearly caught fire when you blacked out." She glanced at the roasted vest on the table.

Jill shook her head with mock horror, "I was starting to think the sleeping beauty role would have been revised." She smiled knowingly which didn't go unnoticed by Sherry but before she could question Jill walked out of the curtained area. "Over here Chris"

"Can you walk?" Sherry whispers worried for her newly founded friend.

"I think I can manage." The ex-captain only had one worry to see with his own eyes what his friends. Chris walked out his resting area to see Jill on the very end where the last bed was kept. She disappeared behind the curtains that hid this bed area, he followed quickly.

"Piers?" He threw the curtains back that hid the young sniper in his bed. He found his way to Piers' side in two strides taking one of his soft hands noticing it was neither blazing hot or deadly cold like before it was perfect. He was still sleeping with just a fluid IV in his left arm but Chris was shock to see how the young man had no scars he looked perfect in his stillness.

"How did this happen?" Jill smile has she could hear the jolliness creeping into his rough voice.

"Your guess is just about as good as mine. When he nearly shocked as both into future he just stood there a few seconds and drop to the floor…naked might I add." She tried to suppress the smile trying to paint her face.

"He hatched like this…" Chris murmured mostly to himself, proud of his plan to save his sniper when it came to it or he would have really died.

"He was staring at you before he lost consciousness." He had almost forgotten Sherry was still in the room making him jump a little. "Sorry" giving her a nod she turns to Jill.

"So you know?" That brought Jill up short feeling a little of both hurt and jealously that Chris had told Sherry before her.

"Well I wasn't sure but I had my suspicions… seems you two had a lot of time to get close?" Jill gave Chris a meaningful stare which he replied to with a look of apologetic.

"She help me yea… this is still your doing Jill. If you had told me he was here I wouldn't have been like that dammit."

She shrugged it off, "I get that's true in some ways. You could have at less picked up the phone when I called."

It was his turn to shrug, "Didn't feel like talking on some piece of shit phone." She laughed at his suppressed anger.

"Looks like you mood changes with Piers' condition." She turned to Sherry, "Well I guess I should thank you for helping him in his dark hours or is it ages?"

She smiled, "No it fine… I kind of enjoyed it." Jill gave her a rivaling smile, "Why do you think I put up with his crap?" They both laugh the laughing stirs the young soldier and everyone goes silent.

Chris stared into the model like face as his hazel eyes finally open glowing with the light shining in them like they were rare jewels. He blinked looking at the setting he wasn't sure how he got there, looking at each face that surround his bed only stop when his hazel met brown head on. A small smile breaks across his youthful face pulling smiles from each person in the room.

"Piers…" Chris heart light has he felt Piers fingers squeeze his own making him pull the younger man into an embrace (a manly one no less). Pulling back Chris eyes said many things, but he only held on to one. _We need to talk._

Finally Piers full lips opened and his first word were for his captain. "Morning Captain"

* * *

**A/N**: I hope this one wasn't so much of a Cliffhanger we all know what's going to happen next chapter… no? Well duh they talk! What about no one know just yet hee hee. Like always leave your thought in the reviews.


	8. Chapter 8 – A Second Life

**A/N**: I want to say for starters don't expect to see Piers just wake up and be like "**oh yes Captain take me fuck me**" as soon as he gets out because it isn't lol. Plus I need to read more smut like stories because I'm an awful smut writer because 1 it's embarrassing and I could never take it serious without looking at it and laughing my ass off one more thing I want to say there will be skipping around in a few chapters. So be patient with this story but anyway enjoy!

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**Chapter 8 – A Second Life**

**Maybe I regret everything I said,**

**No way to take it all back, yeah...**

**Now I'm on my own...**

**How I let you go, I'll never understand.**

**I'll never understand, yeah, oohh...**

**A Little Too Not Over You by David Archuleta **

In thirty- eight Chris never thought get could be this happy to just have someone awake from a long and dragged out nightmare. Almost a lot like when you order something special that was on a month waiting list and came three weeks ahead of time, but only this was more forceful than something material. He had to remind himself ever five seconds that Piers wasn't his.

'**I wish you were mine… I'd take care of you better than any other woman or man**.'

"God Piers it's so good to see your up! You had a lot of people worried here."

"Sherry right?" he covered his mouth hearing the hoarse sound coming from him making Sherry giggle she grabbed for a bottle of water on the table.

"Yep; here I had a feeling you'd need this." He took it nodding with gratitude after drinking the whole bottle in one mouthful realizing the older man as yet to stop staring. Chris was so lost in his fluid movement he didn't noticed the question he'd been asked twice.

"Captain…Chris?"

It brought him up short feeling a hundred different flowing in him at that moment before he could pick which one to approve of. He throws an outraged glare at Pier that would make anyone human shudder but the ace remained unmoved. He sighed knowing what it was for he wasn't forgot the last day and he never will but he knew this had to run its course before anyone would talk to him about anything else. It was hard for him not to remember what he had done drawing his captain to beg for him to get in the pod.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" The outburst made both Jill and Sherry reel knowing the conversation was meant just for them exiting the room. "Look at this mess you're in because you just had to be the fucking hero! Don't you get I'm _your _captain I'm the one who should be taking the risks not you."

Sighing not wanting to meet his eyes, "It was the best choice given the circumstances of the whole situation and I chose the one I thought was the best."

"That wasn't your decision to make" Growling in Piers face so close he could smell the aftershave and cigarettes coming from him. Meeting eye to eye tensions were building.

"Would you have left if I asked you to keep going? Would you have understood that every second that passed I was fighting the urge to" the ace shuddered picturing it, "kill and see what your insides looked like out in the open?"

The question left him fumbling back a step looking at the disgust Piers held for himself. "I would still have wanted you to get on." Angry faded sadness making its appearance.

"That's why I had to do what I did… it was a losing moment no matter what and you know it."

"You don't know what I think!"

"Captain stop being so naïve. You know better than anyone how unpredictable and after all that you would be left with two choices either kill me… or let me kill you. How can you help save the world if you're day?"

"You're the most stupid and selfish soldier ever."

"No I'm not really" shaking his head in short humor, "you would have got over it eventually. You were meant to lead people into greater things."

"Like a quick dead and a wake after that? I can't see what so fucking great about that! Doesn't matter I'm retiring soon… I just want out." All the anger fades leaving him roughly numb.

"What?! You can't just leave now with your tail between your legs!" Piers started to feel his own temper boil feeling lied to.

"No?"

"No" nearly hissing, "You said you'd keep fighting you bastard!"

Hearing that outburst made the Captain lips pull up in a tainted gain, "I suggested doing that and I might have but why should I take your words into consideration when you ignored my begging pleading and even my direct order?"

Piers felt his chest ache with something he assumed was regret, "I told you why…"

"Well you made your decision that involved both of us and this decision doesn't fall on you in any way."

"The hell it doesn't! I spent six months look and searching for you so you could take your place has our captain!"

"I tried! I couldn't even get paperwork done let alone try field assignments so they put me on leave… eight fucking months lied to by my friends and co-workers because they didn't think I could handle it if you died…_again!"_

"I been out for eight months?" pinching the bridge of his nose feeling the confusion. "Can we stop shouting this is starting to exhaust me."

Chris let out a huge sigh settling back into the chair by his bed while Pier rest his head back down. "I wasn't trying to upset you…"

"Nice way of saying sorry. Think I had this dream several times so if this is real I expected that fight." Chris heart fluttered at the sound of the younger man dreaming of him. "Expect I my right arm isn't normal so mind explaining when and how I got here and how I'm alive.

Chris told him everything from the time he arrived to his blackout. "I don't know how you got all your right side back… I sort of woke up a few minutes before you so I hadn't had the chance to ask around and you owe me a new vest."

"Sorry" He was lost in his thought rest his eyes on the pillow till a low snore filled his breathing. Chris thought about how truly beautiful Piers was even in sleep with his lips parted slightly the paleness faded so quickly he still had his tan skin. Chris had never touched Piers skin with his gloves off ever, wondering if it was as soft as it looks like his lips.

"Chris if you stare any longer you'll drill a hole in his face with your eyes" Jill muttered coming up to his side.

"Jill"

"How are you holding up? You still look a little run down."

"I'm fine"

She measured him up, "Want to talk about it?"

"No"

"Fine be that way" she teased and softened into a smile, "Wow you got it big."

"Got what?"

Knowingly smile, "It! You got it bad for him so big it hurts."

"So?" there was no point in lying to her. She grabs him and pulled him away him Piers' bed side.

"So… are you going to fight for him?" she had a smile of hope.

"I can't"

"Why the hell not?"

"There are so many things wrong with that." She had a frustrating look in her eyes "like?"

"I'm his captain for one."

"Was, is more like it."

He continued ignoring her interruption, "I'm 38 going on 39 soon and he is a kid compared to me… he could be my sons age if I had one. Plus I don't even know if I have a chance and if he doesn't bat that way I rather not get a face full of his fist."

"So what are you going to do about your feelings?"

"Obscure them so I can be there as a friend when he needs me." He felt his body protest knowing that would never be enough but he pushed it down.

"That won't end well… I can just see it happening." Jill started biting down on her lip, "I say you should try but don't do anything stupid. That means no drinking around him. You are an awful angry drunk and I don't want to hear about you almost sexually assaulting him in your blind of fury."

"I would never touch him like that!" he growled.

She smiled handing him some files that were laid out over the magazine table, "Whatever I came to give you this anyway…and think about what I said" She cupped his cheek, "you deserve a happy ending and he'd be an idiot to not see the catch you are." She back out the door giving Chris a wink.

He settled back into the chair looking at Piers sleeping form. 'Wouldn't hurt if I got some sleep too.'

* * *

For once he could have a nice normal dream where when the pictures changed he instantly forgot them. He woke feeling a soft hand pat his head that now rest on the side of Piers bed. Chris sat up quickly seeing Piers watch him carefully.

"Sorry" The older man fighting down a blush.

"No problem Captain, the way you were sleeping wouldn't have been good for your neck. Why didn't you get in the bed?"

Chris eyes widened, '_Is he serious?_' "Don't you think that's a little… I don't know" blushing deeper at the ace confused eyes.

"I don't get it. It's not like anyone using the beds other than myself but I only need one."

'_Oh dumbass stupid jackass he meant the other bed!_' Chris let a sigh of relief and half disappointment at the lack of meaning in Piers' words. "It's nothing never mind… I just didn't feel like getting up."

"Oh" he went into deep thoughts licking his lip in a quick swift motion that made Chris jeans feel a little bit tighter. He was fighting himself hard to not imagine with other things those lips and touch could do. "Chris?"

He was still looking at the ceiling so he wasn't sure if he just been caught, "Yeah?"

"Are you going to rethink the retirement plan?" Chris could tell he was hoping for a yes but he just couldn't work with the B.S.A.A. was well over. This little stunt of hiding Piers from him and letting him rot in depression for months had broken the camel's back. He was a founding member and so was Jill but they gave him no say in what he was and wasn't able to handle.

"I don't think I will."

"Why not? You're the best at what you do. I know losing the team was bad and even worst the second time because we treated each other like family. So don't just quit on us."

"It's okay Piers. At some point I would have to retire I'm getting too old for this and you're too young for this as well. I thought you died, I told your mother she didn't even want to take you things. At your age you should be having fun finding yourself or you'll end up like me. I never tired for a normal life and I don't regret my life but I do regret my choices." Piers broke his gaze from the ceiling and stare deeply into Chris eyes a moment to long for a normal conversation.

"You okay Piers?" he broke their 'eye-fucking' moment going back to the ceiling.

"Yea…you know I'm glad you made the choices because then I wouldn't be here."

"That's exactly why I regret them."

A frown on the younger man's face, "I didn't mean _this_ bastard! I talking about all the people we have saved. You were the one who personally recruited me and now you're just walking away because it hasn't gone the way you plan. I don't want to replace you captain and I don't want to be put under anyone else."

Piers was oblivious to the effect his words had on Chris. Lucky for him his crouch was place going up is abdomen ache like his chest. "Then don't… go home spend time with your mother and sister. Get a house maybe a wife and kids the whole nine yards. Do something you never had a chance to do. Be happy"

The look of surprised crosses Piers face stunned by the older man, "Who said I wasn't happy?"

"The lack of laughter and smiles would have me think that. Are you happy?"

"Well I was where I wanted to be until all this mess happened now I don't know what I want to do." Piers rest his head back into the pillow feeling tired again after ten minutes awake.

"Piers you let me know what you want to do and I'll support you 110%."

"Thanks Chris"

"You're welcome; I'm going I'll see you in a few hours." He watch Piers slide back into sleep with a small smile on his lips.

* * *

**A/N**:Sorry for the delay update my puppy Bella got into my wires and totally fuck it all up… I want to say I hate her but she's so cute. I'll try to make the next chapter longer for this delay. Like always leave you thoughts in the reviews I'd like to read them.


	9. Chapter 9 - A Decision

**A/N**: to make this short and sweet. Try not to get frustrated with Piers in future chapters he is to sexy for that. Give him some time, how he does it? Well I haven't got that far yet… Anyways like always leave your thoughts in the reviews enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 9 – A Decision **

**Baby,**

**I could really get to know you**

**take my time and show you**

**don't tell anybody what we do**

**when I get lonely**

**I Get Lonely Too by Drake**

"One more drink over here" The male bartender give Chris a once over before he passes him another miller lite seeing as he started to be a regular in his small wooden bar 'Cheers'.

"You must have it hard huh?" The blonde buzz cut bartender couldn't help but be curious to why the attractive older man was sitting here almost every day from 8pm to 10pm.

"You don't know the half of it buddy." The passing two weeks has been hard for him and his passing emotions. Piers was getting better fast it was getting close to the time they might release him into trusted hands like his parents. He got a chance to call his mom but wasn't allowed to tell her much expect he was alive and doing okay.

The doctor kept him under close watch. Two days ago they found out he still had the power to jolt electricity the hard way after pricking him with needles 5 times and missing the vein. Four days before that they finally let him walk around the premises with one person. Most of the time its Chris and sometimes Sherry or both he was really starting to warm up to her so he knew Piers would like Claire (They were scary similar)

"Well not like I'm busy so I'm all ears if you want." The bartender gives him a wink and a smile, Chris noticed he had green eyes like Piers but no gold in them.

"You don't want to hear what I have to say I'm sure it would be too squeamish to hear me explain" with a fake smile turning back to his beer.

"Try me they're only nine people in here and I'm honestly curious to know. I mean you don't have to tell me I'm not trying to pry or anything. I work every day on weekdays and you're always here." He nodded clearing some grass on the top counter.

"It's too complicated to explain a…" Chris couldn't recall his name looking at his tag.

"Dean and you are?"

"Chris"

He smiled, "I'm guessing that's short for Christopher or something. So Chris why don't you un-complicate it for me."

Chris couldn't help but laugh at his forwardness, "Well Dean if you want to hear then drink with me."

"Hmm I think I could handle that, deal."

"I came here to blow off love and tell the world to go to hell."

"Meaning what? You got your heart broken or something?"

"Or something"

Dean laughed, "Wise guy, so what's this something then?"

"I'm in love with someone I can't have." Chris hated feeling like this, when he and Piers walked the complex the conversation flowed from small talk to serious questions, Chris hadn't dared lead them into his sexuality. Chris knew if he had open the subject for discussion (which would have made the conversation way too uncomfortable) if Piers told him he was straight he would either ask why or want to know Chris' preference. Piers wasn't dumb he would put the pieces together sooner or later.

"So like unrequited love?" rising an eyebrow over his green eyes

"That pretty much sums it up." Rubbing his stubby chin, "see you don't want to hear about my dumb love life do you?"

"I didn't say anything yet." Giving another chuckle, "So who's the lucky lady who is dumb enough to turn you away?" Dean looking over the older mans paused gaze after a few minutes of silent. "Wow must be bad if you can't say her name" teasing with a grin.

"That's because his name is Piers." At this point Chris really was starting to not give a fuck. He knew Dean would never meet Piers and if he was did he wouldn't know it was him.

"Oh so the lucky lady is a lucky guy. It's okay dude I kind of bat for the same team myself, in and out anyway."

"Oh really" shock coloring Chris' voice, "You don't look the type."

"I'll take that as a compliment but I could say the same for you big guy. So explain why you are so down you're drowning in those god awful millers. Since you said you can't have him I'm guessing he's straight right?"

Chris was rubbing his neck a little uncomfortable talking to a stranger when he could easily call Jill or Sherry or maybe even Claire since they were talking again when Piers started to get better. "That's the thing I don't know. I've known him for two year…three maybe and I still don't know that."

"Okay so why not just tell him what do you have to lose?"

Chris let out a groan, "Everything… I don't want to tell him and never see him again if it turns out bad you know? I at less want to still be his friend, so I could watch over him whenever he needs me."

Dean patted his shoulder, "Doesn't look like it's working out well for you. It's obvious that will never be enough if you're here and you haven't even told how you feel about him. Do you have any hard cold proof that he'll shoot you down? Hell maybe he might be straight and shoot you down but at less you'd know he knows. He might still want to be your friend in the end but you won't know till you try right?"

Chris was starting to dislike the bartender but that was probably because he knew he was telling him the truth. "Yea maybe"

"You got two options the way I see it. Grow some balls, tell him and see what happens or don't and move on to someone else. You don't want to be friends with someone you love trust me." He shook his blonde head downing his drink.

"I'll guess you have experience in that area?" Chris really looked at him this time seeing he was very good looking but he wasn't Piers. That's how it always is with him when looking at someone else. He found himself always matching them only the guys he looked at either 'this one is too short, or this one doesn't have the right eye color and this one lips weren't full…like his' the women were just there he looked but his heart wasn't in it.

"God jeez no I'm more a love em' and leave kind of guy! I watch enough of it to know what to avoid that's all. I know exactly what you're thinking and it won't work." Dean gave him a stern look.

"You do huh; well I'm all ears since you think you know me." Chris said curtly

"Touché aren't we. Well here's what I always hear some poor sap say all the time and I quote 'I'm happy as long as they're happy' which turns out complete and utter bullshit. Just because they say it's okay doesn't mean they don't get jealous or hurt over seeing them with someone else and in some cases they end up telling that person how they really feel. Then the funny part about that is the person they were in love with either says it's too late, I would have if I had known you felt that way, or just completely tell them they never felt that way for them." He pause seeing both their beers were empty and grab two more out of the cooler under the bar.

"Thanks" Chris was still reading over his words in his head.

"Look I can't tell you how you should run your life but just think about that because in the end it all gets fucked up in your face. I mean you say you knew this guy for two years but you don't know his… orientation, then maybe you should try to find out."

"You sound like my friends" the older man frowned looking at his beer thinking about Jill and Sherry advice.

"Well they must be smart as hell" His face lite up with a grin.

"Yea they are… I just don't see how I can do it without making it awkward or scaring the piss out of the kid."

"Kid? You aren't a pedo are you?" He teased or at less it looked like it to Chris

"Of course not…he's 26 and I'm 39. I just made it a bad habit of calling him kid."

"Well it's a big age gap but that's the less of your problems. Don't you have a single female friend to… I don't know loosen him up see how he reacts, though that might not mean shit because I'd do whichever I could get my hands one." Deans earned a once over from the older man, "Yea I'm a bit of a man whore sue me."

"Well it was nice talking to you Dean and I'll think about your 'word of advice'" Getting up with his stuff.

"Hey man no problem. Oh! Take this for me in case you ever need some more of my wisdom!" passing a small piece of paper with his number no doubt and another grin on his face.

"I'll keep that in mind." Exiting the bar he decide he was going to do this but as smooth as he could.

* * *

Back at his annoying four 4 star room of a hotel he couldn't remember the name of. Everything was coated in gold like paint to showy for Chris but wasn't like he couldn't afford it so why not. Most of the people in here are rich asshats who came for a couple honeymoon or something and he hating being around love birds.

Reading the clock on the nightstand next to the gold sheet king size bed reading 11pm. He stripped to his plain black boxer shorts and white t-shirt heading for a quick wash to really think about what he wanted to do next till his phone buzzed picking it out of his jeans caller I.D. was Claire.

"Hello?"

"Hey Chris! How was your day today?" She was still happy he was picking up call again which made him feel guilty for shunning her all these mouths.

"Fine"

"What's wrong? You don't sound like you're fine, did something happen to Piers?" Panic started to creep on her.

"No no he's more than fine; Healthy as a horse if you asked him."

"Then what's wrong with you?"

"Just a stressful day… look stop giving yourself grays worrying over me I'm fine alright?"

"I have to worry about someone and you are that someone so deal with it." His baby sister gave him sigh, "get a good night rest ok call me when you get a chance… I mean it or I'll hunt your ass down. Love you."

"Love you too brat"

"Moron" Chris couldn't help laughing at their old sibling banter when she hung up. Grabbing a fresh pair of boxers he bathroom hating how it was only a tub leaving a shower off the table. Ran the water steam starting to collect on the gold cover tiles and white smooth floor, making this place look like heaven for a couple. He found himself dreaming for something like this coming here with Piers, throwing the door open with him in his arms around his waist. Theirs lips tongue and teeth clashing staring into those deep green and gold eyes. Kissing every inch off his body nothing but the taste of him in his mouth overpowering and intoxicating like a drug; the picture so vivid he slipped his boxers off and took a firm grip over his hard member stroking it hard but slow deep grunts and heavy breathing holding onto the sink counter for support.

He picks the speed up when the imagine of the younger man full lips downing his cock licking up and down the shaft moving alone the vein. The quicken pace brought him over spilling into his hand, he clean himself feeling the shame wash over him after thinking the unthinkable but he couldn't help how bad he wants the young soldier… the boy was so hard to shake off.

After bathing he flopped onto the gold sheet cocooning into the bed until sleep found him. It was a nightmare one that was painted because of today's talk. Piers was holding hands with a blonde he couldn't put a face on until they both turned to face him smiling and waving (Dean?) before turning their back on him and walking down the street hand in hand. Chris screamed for them to wait to explain to Piers this wasn't what he wanted not from someone like him at less. It had to be Chris and no one else.

The brash ringing of his phone alarm waking him, meaning it was time for him to get up and go see Piers which was always the up side to his always stressful day but today would be different. He knew he had to try even if it would end in heartbreak and hurt doing nothing wasn't making him feel any better. Being a man of action it was time to take some, forming some plan to go with his decision while he freshen up in the bathroom. Picking up a green t-shirt and some jeans for today's attire.

Grab his keys and out the door, "Lots of work to do so little time to do it."

* * *

The drive to HQ was only 20 minutes like always from the city. Greeting people in the lobby he saw the ponytail Jill wears under her favor blue hat. "Jill!" A big smile over Chris' face.

"Chris… someone's happy today I see. You get laid or something?" poking his well-built abs.

"No I just made up my mind… I'm going to fight for him Jill. I realize it's all I wanted for a long time now so I want your help."

"Awe! oh my god Chris. You know I'm rooting for you come on lets talk real quick I know you got to go see him in a few but I want to talk strategy." She walked into her office pulling her hat down to free her pony-tail sitting on her desk. "What changed your mind?"

"Someone told me what I already knew."

She leaned back onto her arms with an amused grin, "Which is what?"

"Being friends with him could never work. That I can either walk away saying nothing or give it my all and see what happens. One day Piers is going to find someone and I can't let him walk away from me without him at less knowing how I feel."

"Well that's true he's a good looking guy no doubt. So you are going to tell him how you feel today?"

"I want him to at less know every side of me I'll tell him about my old day and my sexuality, see how he takes that. Take it slowly show him my interest I guess."

"What if this doesn't go well, what then?"

"Well I'll leave him alone let him do what he wants without interfering in his life."

She gave him a hopeful smile loving how serious Chris was taking this. She wants her long friend to find peace after everything he's been though. "I don't see anything wrong with that if I can do anything let me know I'll be there kay."

"Thanks I guess I can-" Jill intercom went off.

"Jill?"

"What is it Piers?"

"Is Chris coming today he's ten minutes late." Jill winked.

"Yea he's on his way now. Why?"

"Nothing… I'm just tired of this bedroom." Jill was fighting a laugh.

"Well I could take you if you want and send Chris a message telling him you're okay." The intercom was silent for a minute Chris glare at his old friend with a 'why the hell you say that?'

"…No I'll wait. Thanks anyway." Chris could hear his heart in his ears '_Piers really wants to see me over Jill?_'

"Suit yourself I'll send him down so sit tight."

"Yes ma'am "

"Look at you…that has to be the biggest smile an ever seen you with."

"I… not smile…whatever I have to go."

She laughed, "Tell the man candy I said 'hi.'"

It gave some him hope that maybe Piers felt something or him just maybe this won't blow up in his face. He saw Piers hanging outside his room leaning on his door. He straightens up with a small smile when he saw Chris approach him. Chris like the color blue on him he was wearing a long-sleeved V-neck, the way it clings to his body with the cargo khaki shorts that exposed his tan color muscled legs.

"Morning captain"

"Morning handsome" If Piers knew he was flirting he didn't show it, "Grab a coat we're going out."

"Err but captain I'm not allowed to leave HQ yet." So cute when he's trying to be all rules and regulations and he didn't even know it.

"Awe, come on Piers I won't tell if you don't. We can relive the teenager days when our parents didn't approve of all our decisions but we did them anyway." Chris gave him the best charming smile he could manage; leaves Piers blinking a few seconds before composing himself.

"I don't know about that I happened to obey most of my parents' choices." Chris rolled his eyes.

"Fine you always were a good soldier, but are you sure. You have to be tired of eating breakfast here right?"

"…I could really go for some pancakes right about now, but what if my powers act up?" Piers only fear was hurting someone.

"Well Doctor Garcia said you only spark involuntary when you get stressed or threatened so I'll keep you as happy as I can problem solved."

Piers sigh defeated, "Okay but can we hurry I'm starving."

* * *

After getting Jill to distract the male guard so they could make it to the jeep. The ride to IHOP was minor banter of Piers telling Chris how his family was doing and the card games Jill never seemed to lose at when he played against her.

"Nice to be out again" Piers looked around like a kid who hasn't seen daylight in a long time. A Pretty Waitress walked up to them.

"Welcome to IHOP how many are we sitting sir?"

"Two please" Chris waved Piers forward.

"Here we are my names Anna and I'll be taking care of you today. You two know what you want already?"

Piers looked a bit nervous not liking the fact that Anna eyes never left him for more than a couple seconds, "He'll have the pancake combo, eggs scrambled, bacon and I'll get a breakfast sandwich for me."

"Drinks?"

"Lemonade?" Piers nodded, "Yeah 1 lemon and I'll have simple OJ"

"Anything else?"

"No thank you"

"Ok give me 10 minutes for your order." She left flipping her red hair.

"I think she likes you."

Piers face was priceless like a deer caught in the headlights, "Oh."

"Not hot enough?" amused with his little mind game.

"I guess not. Never really looked at red heads." He shrugged, now was the time for him to open himself up. "Is she your type?"

"I'm not really picky but for my girls I like the usual blond and brunette."

"Jill is a brunette"

"My relationship before Jill was a blond."

"Do I know her?"

"No you don't know him…"

Piers didn't even notice the phrase change at first his head popped back up looking into brown irises, "Him?" Chris nodded slowly waiting for the disgust to present itself. Piers surprised him by blushes and running his hand into his bristly hair. "I don't know… you um… you know."

"Never came up…you aren't uncomfortable about that right I-"

"Oh no… It's fine doesn't change who you are."

"Good" smiling, Chris was happy at the progress he's made though little it's something. The waitress brought their food giving Piers another smile he barely looked at Chris saw the rejection on Anna's face all too clearly making him laugh.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing eat your food." They ate in silence for a few seconds not awkward silence he liked how he didn't have to keep talking to make Piers comfortable. "So since I told you about some of my love life. Who are you seeing right now?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, "No one since I joined the B.S.A.A." _Shocker, "_My last girlfriend was some girl named Elena in high school."

"What happened you don't do long distance?" a grin plastered on his face.

"That was the excuse I gave her but I wasn't really invested in that relationship and after that I got too busy to try looking for someone who I could have my white picket fence dream so many want… Why aren't you still with Jill, you two get along to well for it to have just ended."

"Well… when she 'died' a lot like you did…saving me. I had time to think about moving on, when we found her I still loved her but I wasn't in love anymore and she felt mutual on that so we ended on good terms." Piers couldn't move his eyes from the older man lost in his woodsy eye color, until he realize he was stare for more than 2 minutes looking at his plate like the eggs really interesting just now.

Chris couldn't fight the goofy ass smile over his face while they ate in silence. They finished in record time leaving a tip on the table heading out the door. "Chris?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"Taking out of the damn compound feels really good…"

"Well there are a lot more of these days coming so save your thanks. Come on lets get you back before they have my ass."

"Yes sir"

* * *

**A/N: **Longest chapter so far yay and yes I used the bar name Cheers LOL! Anyone can guess what going to happen next chapter? Well stop it… because you're all wrong… this chapter is hurt and comforts remember that! I like this chapter a lot (I did well to say ever piece is un beta) I had planned on stopping at 3k word but couldn't xD please let me know how it was would mean a lot!


	10. Chapter 10 - Good Times

**A/N**: Okay is the story boring or is it just me who likes this? I get at less 400 views a day but not a lot of opinions granted some do leave them so thanks ;P then I get bored of the story myself xD and do something else. I'll try to stick it out for those who seem to like it I guess so enjoy. (Might have to do some of this in Piers POV just fair warning and that this is not a crossover I just like SN names LOL!)

* * *

**Chapter – 10 Good Times**

**I don't know why we're afraid of it**

**Never ever felt it was today**

**I don't know what you pray for when you're alone**

**I don't know where we'll go tomorrow**

**Never ever lose the way for you**

**The Place of Hope by Kurosaki Maon**

"Awe that has to be the cutest thing I've ever heard." Jill was gushing over the breakfast details Chris was giving her since they got back.

"We aren't cute…" glaring at his best friends. They sent Piers to Doctor Garcia's lab for more test on him.

"Whatever, we have to do lunch here Sherry's bringing some lunch. The cafeteria makes me feel like I have PMS cramps." Rubbing her sides like just thinking about them hurts.

"I think my breakfast is going to come back up." Wincing his face

She chuckled picking the stack of papers on her desk a lot has changed since Jill became board member under Henry. "You do that while I read this then." The file had Nivans Piers written on the tab sobering him out of his childish moment.

"Read it out loud I need to know."

"Sure…ah lets see, They figured out why he was the only case that reacted to the vaccine by cocooning up. Apparently since he had an advance strain in him the vaccine couldn't and can't turn him fully back to normal which means he'll always be able to give some human shock treatment. The virus found a way to bond to his DNA so nothing can be done about that."

"I can live with that…" She ignored him reading on.

"His bio-energy can be triggered by strong emotions for example distress, fear, or a moment of high adrenaline. The subject has only shown signs of any of these on the 11 day of his reanimation state." She looks over the papers once more stopping with a heavy smile. "Look at this"

"His release papers? So they are putting it on you to release him huh?" Chris wasn't sure if this was dumb luck or fate but whatever it was he'd take it.

"Sure looks that way…but where would I send him is the question?" She put her hands on her hip tapping her foot in mock thought. "Well I could send him to a good friend who uses to work here… that's if Piers agrees but I wonder if he'll go for it."

"I know what you're thinking and it isn't going to work."

"Why not? I think he feels something for you. The kid saved your life more than once" she waves him off before he could argue. "I know, but I'd like to believe it was more than that. So are you going to get him to stay with you for a few weeks or not?"

It was tempting but Chris didn't have the faintest clue on how to ask without sounding like a big flirt or a big ass creep. "How?"

She half sighed half laughed, "Men make this so much more harder, just let me handle that."

He agreed trusting his friend won't make things harder then they need to be. They slipped into easy conversation about some of the stuff he missed like last 3 weeks she had to discharge some guy for sexual harassment on one of the foxtrot woman on base, laughing with each other like the old days till there was a knock.

"Come in" Jill ordered

"Hey guys" slipping her lean body in with subway sandwiches in hand moving to sit on Jill's desk "Got Lunch!"

"Thanks Sherry you're a life saver. If I had to eat the mess hall food again I'd just die…again!"

"No problem, I brought four just like you wanted…so are we going to get Piers?" as they speak the door opens with the ace coming through it. A bright smile breaking across the captains' face making the ace look away pretending he hadn't seen that.

"We got lunch kid come sit." Chris patted the loveseat Piers move a little uncertain, "So how was the lab today."

He lean back in the seat answered without making eye contact, "Better…they still won't tell me when I can go home or not" frowning at the thought of having to be put through more tests before he can get out of his room.

Jill got up from her desk fighting a smile and Chris knew she was going to hatch her plan. "About that… where are you going once you get clearance?"

"Well I was hoping I could go see my mother and my sister back in Colorado… why?"

"I don't think that's a good idea at the moment… I've been put in charge of your release."

"Oh" his brow furrowed in thought, "Why can't I go home? I don't have anywhere else to go."

Chris could almost hear the cranks in her head turning like she was playing a game of chess trapping her competitor into a corner with only one option. "Well your arm is normal for the most part but… I read the files on you and any form of stress or high adrenaline could set you off hurting anyone to close. This is for the safety of you and your family."

"So I'm stuck here? Is that what you're saying?" he made no attempt to hide his annoyance.

Sherry looked about as confused has Piers felt but she kept her piece to herself.

"I could have sent you off if it wasn't so far out of my way to keep an eye on you." Jill was a grade A actress, she popped her head up like she had an epiphany. "Chris…and Sherry live 3 hours away. I could easily get to their place by chopper if needed."

Sherry almost dropped her sandwich not expect that bombshell. Jill turn her back on Piers and Chris so only she could see her face and hopefully read the message she was sending 'Don't accept!' "Sorry I can't… I'm already walking on thin ice with Jake but I'm sure Chris wouldn't mind right?" Jill gave her a look of thanks before facing the men again.

Chris had to play along just right or the plan could be shot down. "I don't know… only if he wanted to I wouldn't mind."

Piers glared at all three of them, "I can't put him in danger too it might be better if I just stay-"

"No… really Piers, I can handle myself if it came down to it. So you don't have to worry about my safety." Giving Piers his best 'knock em' dead smile' possible when their eyes meet and again the younger man found himself gawking a little too long before leaning back into the couch.

"I… fine I guess it's okay." Looking back to Jill who was grinning at how her master plan worked, "So when can I go?"

"Today" Chris almost chokes on his first bite into his sandwich.

"Today?"

"Well yea… all I need to do is filling out the address and sign it." She must have had high hopes because Chris could swear he seen most of the paper filled out with his address.

"Cool…captain are you sure about this?" the sincere concern in Piers' eyes that made him look like a puppy always made the blood pump in his ears and his palms sweat like he was in high school all over again. (Only this wasn't a 90 pound girl he was wooing)

"It's fine don't worry about it. You done a lot more for me and I have to repay you somehow."

"You don't have to repay me for saving your life," frowning a little. "I did it because I felt it was right… not to have you in debt to me." He places his hands in his lap looking at them.

"Awe!" Sherry squealing nearly scared the crap out of everyone. "Piers"

"What did I do?" meeting her eyes

"Nothing… just your just so" she giggled shaking her head, "Nothing."

Piers face lit up in small patches on his face ducking back down to pick his sandwich up so no one could see his blush, but he could feel Sherry and Chris gaze on him until Jill started small jokes about Chris and their S.T.A.R.S days while everyone finished their sandwich. Sherry said her short byes before leaving to meet up with Jake.

"Piers maybe we should start packing some of your stuff?" Chris said, Jill held up the papers indicating that she was almost done.

"Sure it's not a lot anyway."

"Chris, hold on one sec" Jill waved Piers to go start without him.

Once the door was close Jill opened her draw hastily searching for something, "What is it?" She pulled out brownish greenish fabric and threw it to him. "This is…"

"Piers' shemagh, it had a lot of blood on it but nothing I couldn't fix."

"So why are you giving it to me?" she rolled her eyes, "I'm giving it to you to give to him obviously" she winked going back to her paper work. "Now get the hell out of my office Redfield."

God he forgot how much he loved this woman. "Thanks Valentine"

After leaving her office down the corridor and up 2 flights of staircases to the dorm rooms one for each section (alpha, beta, charlie, delta, and foxtrot and so on) they still hadn't got around to getting a new alpha team so Piers was given Chris old room by Jill appointment and Chris agreement since it was a single while the alphas share rooms.

Piers left the door open waiting on his captain. "What was that about captain?" Holding the scarf up so he could see, "Is that my scarf?" wide eyed like he was dreaming.

"Yea Jill must have salvaged it since I told her it was special to you. Your father gave it to you before you entered the B.S.A.A. and then he… you know."

The young man lips pull in a small soft smile, "You remember something like that?"

It was Chris turn to be shocked, "Why wouldn't I?

"Well we were kind of in the middle of a mission when you asked about it." Taking the shemagh out of his captains' hand, Chris remembers that day like yesterday.

* * *

_They were on their 2nd scout mission for the local hostiles that had been recently reported seen the air was warm and humid but Piers would bundled up in his scarf. "Piers?"_

"_Yeah captain?" a look of confusion on his face for the sudden break in dead silence with just him Marco the ace._

"_You can't possibly be cold with the weather like this." Eyeing the scarf he held dutifully._

"_No but… this scarf was the first and last thing my father gave me when I entered the B.S.A.A. So I like having it on me at all times, like he's watching over me even today." Piers looked at the scarf with a wishful look._

"_Sorry…I didn't mea-"_

"_It's fine captain you didn't know." He reached out patting Chris on the shoulder._

* * *

"Well I like to remember the small things about people I care about." He blurted before he realizes how intimate that sounded but lucky Piers was still admiring his father's gift. "Here" grabbing the shemagh turning Piers around who didn't protest at the closeness; he smoothly wrapped the scarf around the younger man's neck. "Just like old times."

"Thanks captain"

"You know you can start calling me Chris I'm not really your captain anymore and you aren't really a soldier either."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Chris chuckled at Piers meek tone, "You got everything right?"

"Yeah I just need my rifle from my locker...I can still bring it right?" The face made it hard for Chris to deny him anything so he nodded.

"Just don't start shooting that thing in my house." Grabbing his light luggage of mostly sweatpants left from his locker.

"Deal, meet you in the car?"

"Sure just don't take to long."

Once to the jeep he heaved the box of clothes in the backseat and since Piers would be a minute in his locker the decided to use the number he tossed in his glove compartment dialing it into his phone and pressing call. It only ringed three times before a powerful deep voice "Hello?"

"Dean?"

"No this is Castiel… how is this and how do you know Dean?" the suspicion clear in his voice.

"Chris and we meet at… his job, I could call back later." Voice talking in the background sounded like 'give me my phone ass!'

"Hello?"

"Entertaining guest?"

"Chris nice to hear from you buddy! How's it hanging?"

"You sound surprised to hear from me." laughing to himself.

"I didn't expect for you to really call… so what's up?"

"I want to say thanks for the crummy advice."

"Crummy advice huh?" a smile in his voice, "So if it was crummy why you thanking me asshole."

"I didn't tell him everything but I told him about me… and he's still comfortable around. He's even going to be staying with me for a while until he gets back on his feet from his incident?"

The sound of humming came from the other end of the phone. "Okay so either he has a lot of trust in you or it's more than that."

Chris forgot he still didn't know the full extent of this relationship. "I'm sort of his ex-captain and he was my second command."

"You're a cop?"

"No I was a captain of B.S.A.A."

"The military that fights those monster terrorist right?" he sounded impressed on his status of a captain.

"Yeah… I retired after he got injured and they are now releasing him into my care."

"That's some heavy shit dude… hey dude I'll text you but it was nice talking to you and good luck man."

"Yeah bye" Piers opens the passenger door as he ends the phone call.

"Who was that?"

"Just a friend. You ready?"

"Yea let's hit the road."

Most of the ride was silent only a few comments and questions here and there. After 2 hours Piers started to stare out of the window with his brows furrowed Chris noticed he did this when he was thinking about something hard.

"What are you thinking over there?" the question made the ace jump from his reverie.

He looked unsure about sharing his thoughts but that only made Chris want to know more "Oh… Well I was thinking maybe this wasn't the best call after all."

"Why?"

"Just being around me puts you in danger…and you have a life outside of me. How can I ask you to put that on hold on for me? It's not right or fair to you."

Chris was gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles were stain white, "Are we really having his conversation again?"

"Yea I think we should" the frustration livid in his face. "I get it Chris I saved your life but that doesn't mean anything! I want you to do what you want not something you think you should because I saved you."

"Is that what you think?" Chris growled making Piers eyes narrow so he wouldn't finch from anger as he nodded. Chris pulled off the highway parking in front of a Checkers restaurant, pulling a cigarette out his pocket. "Get out…"

Piers' eyes were a mixture or hurt and confusion. Chris almost lost his rhythm but he knew something had to be done. Piers stepped out followed by Chris who round the jeep to stand a few feet in front of Piers holding the snipers' gaze while he inhaled the smoke. "Cap-"

"Shut up" Chris words stunned him breaking his façade so now his face matched his eyes. "I'm going to say this once and we better not have this fucking argument again do you understand me?" unable to find his voice so he nodded. "Even if you hadn't saved me and found yourself in this fuck up situation where you can't even trust yourself around others. I'd still be that one person who could never turn you away, if you had gotten on the pod you wouldn't have to question any of this but we can't go back and fix any of it."

He paused to inhale another draw running his free hand in his hair. "You think I have a life but just a few weeks ago I was stored away in my house for 8 months making no move to get better and even when Sherry was trying I knew nothing was never going to be okay. So what I had left of my life died when I refused to pick up where I left off." He laughed darkly to himself, "So stop thinking that you're holding me back because right now at this moment I'm here because I want to not because of some fucking heroic act you so terribly failed at, as long as you want me here then I'll be here got it?" He wasn't sure if he said enough without laying his heart right there on the cold pavement for Piers to stomp on.

"I'm sorry Chris" It was the first Chris had ever seen Piers cry, never thought he'd ever see something of that nature but here he was coming undone at the roots sharp sparks flew from his fingertips making his eyes go wide and he stifled sobs broke from him. Chris couldn't stand the distance between them, closing the space ignoring Piers' advancing back steps and the short shocks that hit him when he pulled the ace in a tight hug. He didn't expect the strong respond of strong but smaller arms wrapped around his wrist as the young man fight for control of his tear ducts stifling the sobs into his captain's shoulder.

They stood there for what seemed like hours until it was only the sound of late night cars on the interstate. "You okay Piers? I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"No I think that's exactly what I needed… sorry for messing your sweater up." Pulling away from the embrace putting space between them that Chris instantly hated, "Thanks."

"Anytime… I bet you're hungry and I don't have any food at the house so want to grab a bite?"

"Sure" It was the first genuine smile he'd seen Piers use and it made him feel all warm inside that it was him who put it there after watching him break.

They ate and laughed like the parking lot incident never happened the moment was perfect picture of two good friends, but Chris was determined to either make it or break.

* * *

**A/N**: I was so close to just saying fuck it and making them kiss but I stayed strong. I got a couple more ups and down before the real fluff comes so plz be patient. A lot of people are going to be upset net chapter but I hope you still come! Like always tell me what you like/dislike Mal out!


	11. Chapter 11 - You Assumed So

**A/N**: Thanks to all my followers, favorites and reviewers for the o so many on looks so enjoy the story I have o so badly prepared sike! Enjoy (Some Piers POV let us know what he is feeling when Chris is shamelessly flirting and etc.) Setting change for the silver line -.-.-.- is for POV switching

* * *

**Chapter 11 – You Assumed So **

**Visions I've been dreaming are coming down**

**They're changing my future**

**Visions I had buried underground**

**Returning to abuse us**

**Crush by Pendulum**

The fifth shot few down the aches of field Chris owned as Piers hit another target plate right in the center. "Two weeks of this and you still never miss your target, that's one hell of an eye kid." Speaking into the walkie-talkie they brought as a joke but came in handy so Chris could stay close to the targets to change the plates. "…But I'm starting to run out of plates over here."

"What no more Elvis Presley albums for me to shot?" He could almost see the smile on his face on the back porch of the house his rifle hanging on the fence that made the property line.

"Hey, you know those albums are a piece of work bastard." Playfully growling over the talkie hearing Piers chuckle a little.

"Yea and you know I don't care."

"You know what! Speaking to me like that just earned you bread and water today I don't care if you starve." Chris couldn't help but smile when he and Piers joked like this. After that day Piers broke down in the parking lot he really started warming up to him in more ways than a captain and subordinate. Like when they watched old horror movies they would laugh at them and the lack of realistic situations and talked about personal issued Pier went into how he was brought to follow his father footsteps till Chris asked him to join the B.S.A.A. but when Chris tried talking to him about his parents he felt to uneasy and was glad Piers was so understanding about giving him time to open that subject.

"Sure Chris if you say so."

"Alright then let's finish up all this food threating is making me hungry." Making his way back to the back entrance to his house, "Any choices today?"

"Yea Tuesday steak day… I think we ran out of A1 steak sauce" he complained.

"I have like two different brand of sauce you can pick from."

"No way, Heinz sauce ruins the steak."

Chris finally made it up to the fence line where Piers was now cleaning his gun, "Fine princess lets go to the store for you sauce" finishing with a wink.

"Princess?" glaring at the older man, "I'm no princess senile old man."

"Okay truce" laughing at Piers adorable scowl, "I'll be in the car hurry up and put that up."

"Yes sir"

* * *

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

The ride to the store was a short 10 minute to a local Wal-Mart. "Why are we here? It's not like we need a lot of stuff." Chris didn't reply as his mind was somewhere else and his body was on auto pilot and Piers could tell something was wrong. "Chris?"

He hummed to show he was paying at less a little attention which kind of annoyed Piers to no end, wanting Chris' full attention. "Just going to grab some extra stuff so we don't have to come back out, that's all."

"Fine" They grab a cart letting Piers push like always making their way to the dressing lane.

"Grab two so we don't have to get that for a while." Chris ordered

Piers rolled his eyes but had his back turned so Chris didn't see. "You act like I put this on everything I eat."

"The hell you don't."

"Stop over exaggerating I only use it when we have steak… and sometimes burgers." The older man shook with laugher while Piers tried to fight his smile. He couldn't understand why he felt so comfortable with Chris his ex-captain, the man he held in the highest regards. Chris made him feel comfort, like a safe harbor his family uses to give him when he was younger but after his two brothers left the house for the air force leaving Piers with his parents and little sister. His father took Piers under his wing to turn him into a perfect soldier giving him his abilities like being able to lock away emotions, but when he was with Chris all that practice was wasted. He didn't try to fight it or find out why because it felt nice to not have to pretend and say what he really felt and that's what Chris asked for, for him to be himself when they were together.

Piers didn't take notice of two young women giggling and staring at them until Chris stop to stare blankly at them with a confused gaze, but after both men looked at the women they flushed and retreated. "What was that about?" Piers asked

"No idea"

They walked down the lanes picking up whatever Piers throw in the basket, when he stops them at the candy shelf. "Fan of candy?" Chris questioned

"I use to be when I was younger but I stop buying them for myself since Liz loved them so much I used my allowance to buy her some," shrugging.

"Your sister Elizabeth right"

"Yea" he felt a little happy knowing Chris paid attention to all the little stuff he told him no matter what it was but it still bothered him that Chris wouldn't share all of his past and he really wanted to know everything about his hero and captain as weird as it sounds.

The smile the older man made always made Piers want to shiver and hide. "That's really sweet of you…but I think that might be because you had too much candy."

"Bite me," he retorted with a small laugh.

Friendly banter was made while they walked, when their shoulders would bump Piers could feel his arm wanting to spark a fire right there but instead he flushed red under his tan-like skin making Chris grin to himself. "You do that a lot now."

"Do what?" Piers asked tilting his head with a puzzled look.

"Blush"

"I didn't notice sorry," looking down like he did something he wasn't sure was right.

"What are you apologizing for? It looks good on you." Both man face distorted in shock. Chris because he couldn't believe he just said that out loud and Piers because he really didn't think Chris found him 'good-looking' so they both stare at each other until Piers felt his lungs burn from lack of oxygen forcing him to breathe heavily blinking.

"Guess we can checkout now." Chris said still sounding a little mortified at his outburst.

The make it to an empty check-out with a teenage girl behind it she wave them over seeing she was bored out of her mind. "Good evening how are you this evening," smiling at them.

"Good thanks" Chris gave her is every day normal smile. Piers couldn't explain why he loved that Chris never gave him a half smile he did to the strangers they met over the past two weeks.

The teenager looked up from scanning looking at them; they followed her gaze to see their sides flush against each other. Piers could feel the heat turn up in his face has he steps back giving both men much needed space. "Sorry" Piers said

The teenager who tag read Lily giggled and shook hand dismissively, "No I'm sorry for staring, and I'm not uncomfortable with you touching your boyfriend I think it's cute." She smiled warmly, but it didn't stop his face from turning up the heat more.

"What… I'm not…ah- it's not…" shutting himself up. This whole evening was turning into a big embarrassment for the young ace, but luckily Chris big coughing laughed turned her attention to him.

"It's not like that, trust me." Wiping a tear from laughing out of his face, Piers felt a ping of relief and a bite of hurt. _'So I guess I'm not that attractive.'_

"Oh! Sorry I just… nothing forget I said anything!" she looked down from Chris' amused and wishful gaze one that confused her a little.

"It okay easy mistake."

She nodded ringing at the items but there was tension there from Piers Chris was ignorant of and the ace pushed what the girl and Chris said out of his head. "Your total sir is 67 dollars and 79 cents." He swiped card while Piers pushed the cart outside heading to the car waiting. What the teenager said resurfaced but instead of pushing it back it led his thoughts to actual dating again not that he did it a lot.

In high school there wasn't a single girl who would deny he was hot not that Piers was some self-absorbed ass hole who constantly reminded himself of that. So many trying to woo him but none of them were really interesting, Elena was nice and wasn't too clingy. They made out had sex the whole ten yards but when she told him she loved him, he couldn't say it back but instead of being hurt like a normal teenage girl she said she understood why he couldn't say it and would wait but that day never came. So love was something he didn't deem a must have as long as he had his family.

Piers could feel it would be hard to just up and leave Chris when he was stable enough to find a job and move back to his mothers'. He much rather go back to the B.S.A.A. but they give him his purple heart and sent him on his way. He would have pressed the matter but he didn't see why he should stay Chris wasn't going back to the B.S.A.A. and he still hated the idea of anyone but him being his captain or himself replacing Chris.

So he'd try to settle into a normal life… not one of a wife and children maybe but still normal enough to not be a burden on his captain even if Chris won't say it he felt sooner than later his time at his house should be over.

"Lets go kid" Chris said.

* * *

The ride home was unnaturally silent if Chris knew something was wrong he never pushed Piers into talking until they got all the food inside where they should be. "You okay over there?" he turned looking into Chris deep brown concerned eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Piers questioned

"Maybe because you haven't said a word since the store… look if it bothers you-"

"That's not what I was thinking about I'm over that." The ace took in Chris confused gaze, "I was just thinking about when I actual have to go home and find a stable job."

"Oh" the sadness in Chris' eyes set a cutting feeling in him.

"I mean I can't stay here forever as much as I wouldn't mind and we both need jobs."

"You wouldn't mind staying here…with me I mean?" His voice half shocked half happy.

"I don't see why not…I'm kind of happy here." he didn't know what he was saying but it felt right saying it and being here.

"Then stay…" Chris voice was so soft and smooth Piers could feel the blood rushing everywhere even places they shouldn't. "Find a job here I don't care but stay please."

"Wouldn't that be a bad idea?" still locking eyes with his captain, when Chris moves forward into the aces' personal space close enough he could smell the cigarettes, aftershave and the mint like scent from his breathe. "Says who?"

At that second Piers felt like pressing against the man in front him and his other self was telling him to back up, but he just stayed there staring at this man he found oddly striking and that scared him to no end.

'_When did I starting thinking my captain was hot?'_

Sure he thought Chris was anything but okay he was muscled up like the god of war Ares with a killer smile he couldn't seem to shake and those chocolate eyes so much more deep then Elena's.

"Piers?" Chris voice was like poison in Piers' ears something was happening to him and it was throwing him into a loop. He knew what was coming back he couldn't find the strength to move so they just stood in the kitchen threshold. "Can I tell you something…you might not like it but I have to." Piers nodded since that's all his body would allow. "I always had this crush on you… since I meet you. You're in my dreams, my nightmares, thoughts, and now my life. I want to hold on to that piece even if you don't feel that way…I want you to know where I stand." The older man stole a shaky breathe right into the ace face moving his hand to stroke his cheek.

That one move set Piers nerves on fire after hearing his captain confess he had feeling for him and that it was up to him to accept them or forget them. The part of his brain that said to walk away was overpowered by the yearning to crush his lips to Chris' so that's what he did.

Chris huffs when Piers' hands fist his shirt pushing them both fully into the kitchen and gasps when his back hits the refrigerator hard Piers could feel rough and demanding lips on his. Piers couldn't think apart from anything that wasn't Chris involve. He knew this was wrong but it felt so right when he parted his lips clashing teeth together tongues fighting for dominance. Piers hand traveled down to the end of Chris' shirt moving his hand under to feel the smooth build making, Chris growl fighting harder to enter the ace inviting mouth making Piers' tongue retreat back alone with his captains. Piers could have tasted the older man mouth for days, moaning when he suck on Chris tongue.

Chris shuddered when Piers soft fingers rubbed right over his nipple making them groan into the aces' mouth.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

Chris felt like he was on top of the world as he slipped one hand under Piers green t-shirt exploring the smooth small of his back. He broke the kiss moving his mouth to Piers neck nipping and sucking like there was no tomorrow… and if it was he would die happily. Piers throw his head back slightly moaning shamelessly again and it drove right to Chris groin. "So beautiful" he mouthed on Piers neck. Piers was still stroking his nipple continuously with one hand moving the other fisted in his shirt to the back of Chris head card his hand in his hair. Chris gasped when Piers pulled him back to his mouth for the second time exploring every inch of Chris' mouth this time.

This time Piers broke the kiss, kissing down his captain's jaw and back to his lips after catching his breath, moaning again but this time Chris name was called. "Chris" He lost it pulling Piers flush against him where their groins touch, but he didn't get the reaction he was looking for.

Piers stopped abruptly throwing himself on the kitchen door frame. Chris was confused at what caused the sudden movement following Piers gaze, he was staring at his own tent showing proud in his jeans. His face distorted in horror and disgust not meeting Chris gaze for a while still staring at his own length. He turned heading for the living area trying to get to his room but Chris ran catching his arm and Chris world went up in flames.

"Don't touch me!" Piers hissed

"What-"

"Shut up please! Shut up and leave me alone! I'm not like you… I can't be! I won't be." The pain on Chris face was un-concealable, "Sorry… I'm not…just let me go. It was wrong of me and I don't…" Chris let him go and he retreated to his room slamming the door.

Chris knew this was a long shot but it didn't make it hurt and less. His body ached everywhere thinking he just loss something to important all too soon. '_If only I kept my mouth shut fuck!_' Now Piers was going to leave and he'd never see him again, but he refused to cry he wouldn't. He sat down on the couch the whole night unmoving with his head in his hands until he could move to his bedroom forgetting dinner curling up under the covers.

He kept telling himself, '_this isn't so bad_' again and again.

Sleep was coming telling himself one last time.

'_This isn't so bad…but it's bad enough_' falling into a sleep he hope he'd never wake up from.

* * *

**A/N**: ha-ha tell me how many people thought I was going to make them have sex? Got you right? . please don't hate Piers I still love the guy lol. **R&R **Mal out~


	12. Chapter 12 - Who Cares? Pt 1

**A/N**: Thanks to all my supporters :P and to those who hate me and not Piers LOL! So here to my so generous readers enjoy. (Haven't been in the best mood for writing sorry about that…plus my eyephones broke and I'm throwing a BF can't work without my music)

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Who Care?**

**If today was your last day**

**Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?**

**You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars**

**Regardless of who you are**

**So do whatever it takes**

**'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life**

**Let nothin' stand in your way**

**Cause the hands of time are never on your side**

**If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback **

Piers couldn't even come out his room he was so confused and ashamed of what he had done. He had not only kissed another man, but it was his captain and what made it so much worst he love each moment of it. Tasting the older man feeling each aspect of his Adonis like build, he'd never ever been so damn hard in his life and it scared the shit out of him.

So he spent the last 3 day trap in his room when Chris was up and about which wasn't long. He saw the look in his captain eyes and it broke his heart to see that he just broken his captain. He knew Chris was blaming himself for this but none of this was his fault, he kissed him first. The look of disgust and guilt plagued Piers face but it was for himself. Guilt for not telling Chris what he felt that night and disgust for himself for feeling that way, why would Chris pick him of all people he thought. Someone how could never return those feelings, not today not tomorrow not ever.

All these emotions left him unstable, which induced bio activity and now they needed a new toaster because being in the kitchen was a brain sore. Thinking about that night again made Piers groin fill with hot blood each time and it frustrating to enjoy something so wrong and still want it.

Now he's laying curled in his sheets thinking what his next move should be. He would leave but there were a lot of reasons why he couldn't or more like wouldn't leave. He never felt more at home then he did here with his Captain or at less before he tried to inhale him through his mouth. Plus being here was better than going back to HQ to be a test subject for them to stab and poke with needles, but he didn't know how to make this better.

Not without going back on what he learned to be right and wrong.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

Chris could feel himself slipping, but who wouldn't when they just got their heart stepped on. Piers made it pretty clear he wouldn't be an abomination he seen Chris to be, hardly looking him when he was in the same room disgust engraved in his eyes. Piers discomfort was only to easy to read from the fried toaster to the half melted silverware and the smoky smell coming from Piers room, but whenever Chris tried to ask his ace about it he get a stern look and a soft whisper '_I just can't_' making Piers flee back into his room.

Chris was running out of idea to solve this problem, Dean and Jill told him to give Piers time and Sherry suggested a group intervene, but he didn't know how Piers would react to knowing other people knew what went on. He knew Piers wasn't going to talk to him and he wanted to know **now **not later about what bother Piers so much, he was never a man to run from a problem. So he had his mind made up tomorrow Sherry and Jill would come because not talking isn't helping Piers or himself.

He picked himself up from his bed to grab his phone from his nightstand.

_Jill_

'_You got a sec?'_

Seconds later he phone gets a reply.

'_Sure wat's up?'_

'_Can u take tmrw off to cum c me?'_

'_Sure if thts wat u need'_

'_Thxs I owe u'_

'_lol you think? I'll ttyl'_

'_Yea bye'_

He really only wanted Jill's help for this but you know woman… if Sherry found out he used her idea but didn't include her, she'd get her heart broken.

_Sher_

'_I think I'm going 2 use ur plan. So if u want 2 help come by tmrw.'_

He got out of bed making his way to the kitchen grabbing a beer when he heard another pair of bare footsteps making it way to the kitchen. Piers entered the kitchen wearing only sweat pants clinging to his smooth hips, his normal spike buzz dark and flat from what must have been a shower. He must have assumed Chris was still in his room because he had to double-take when Chris figure caught his attention.

Piers face had about 20 different emotions in his eyes one Chris could swear lust and longing was there, along with other things. "Oh" Piers turn his eyes to the face, "I didn't…sorry." Before Chris could give him a good respond he threw the frigid open grabbing something wrapped up in foil then nearly running to his room, meeting his gaze again his expression blank and unreadable but it was clear he was blushing not too long ago still lightly flushed before he disappeared into his room.

Chris could hardly keep up… one second Piers could hardly look at him without being uncomfortable and distant then he's acting like a school girl who has a crush on her teacher. It confused the shit out of him and left him with an aching headache when he tried to understand. '_What exactly did Piers want!?_'

He was going to check his pockets for his phone when he noticed he wasn't wearing pants, just his plaid red and black boxers and nothing else to caught up in getting his drink to care to put something on (not that he'd ever think Piers would forget to check to make sure he was the only one out and about) so he left his room as is. '_So that's why he was blushing…I just don't get it!_' Chris want to know because it obvious Piers found him eye-catching but there were so many reason Piers could have for not following his instincts, his wants. The only idea he came with was that Piers was upset that he'd been the one to confuse him, but how can there be confusion about? Okay maybe throwing everything out there was a little dumb and fast and hearing it confused Piers…but his body surely was confused, but couldn't that happen to anyone who was that deep in physical contact?

He marched back to his room trying to sort it all out seeing the indicator light on his phone blinking.

_Sher_

'_Kool, wat time should I get there?'_

'_As long as it around 1 pm'_

Sitting at the side of his bed so he could place his beer on the nightstand, the reply was instant.

'_kk, btw have u talk to Claire?'_

'_This morning yea why?'_

'_She was just worried about you. She said you sounded off.'_

Chris never really did explain the whole thing to Claire about what was going on between him and Piers (if there was anything that is) and he felt a little guilty. She knew about Chris' sexuality and it never mattered to her he was her big brother and nothing could stop her from loving him. Claire was always there no matter what but if he told her all the details and why he was hurting or off she'd drop everything to be here with him.

It was his job to protect her not the other way around, but it the way he protect was never the same way he protected her. He was there for her mentally and physically while she supported him emotionally, he was never the one to let his feeling show how hard it was taking care of himself and her while they were growing up. Not that she couldn't tell when he came home from work after school in the late hours and she would pull his head into her lap when all he wanted was to give up and it was always been like that since '_that day_' but he refused to burden her this time.

'_I knew wat ur thinkin bt I'm nt involving her in this. She has a life and I want her 2 live it so leave it Sherry.'_

'_Fine if you say so. I'll cya later.'_

Flopping down on top of the covers, he was hoping Sherry kept her word to leave Claire out of it until we got everything settled. The last thing he wanted was his baby sister trying to drop kick the person of his affection, granted the image was funny as hell it wouldn't make Piers want to talk any more than he did now. If Sherry planned didn't go well then he'd have to stick to being patient and waiting was something he was never game for.

The ringing of his phone woke the captain out of his dream sleep not that he remembered but he pushed that away to pick the phone up.

"Hello?"

"Were you planning on sleeping all day?" Jill voice sang into the phone, "And here I was calling to see if you were ready to check on your man trouble."

"God Jill shut up already it's too early for this."

Hearing a snort, "Sweetie I don't know if you noticed but it's 12:47 in the morning! So get your big ass up I'll be there in 20 min bye."

She hang up before he could reply, Jill could be a pain in the ass when she wanted to be but he would have slept passed intervene time had she not been a pain in his ass. He trudged out of bed grabbing a clear pair of boxer out of the dresser heading into his shower. Throwing on a white t-shirt and some jeans, he was in the middle of brushing his teeth when he heard a car driving up the gravel parkway to his house.

Looking out of his window he half expected to see Jill's favorite dark-blue Mercedes but he caught site of a red Volkswagen own by little Birkin, going around meeting her at the door before she could knock.

The door opening so sudden made her jump, "Hey" nodding at her stepping aside to let her in.

"Where is he?"

"In his room hiding from me."

"Mhm should I?"

"Not yet Jill on her way so lets wait for her." She nodded taking a sit on the couch, "You want anything to drink?"

"No I'm fine…are you ok?"

Before he could reply with the usual 'I'm fine' another set of wheels could be heard coming up the lane. She opened her door with a smile on her face. "Lets get this over with."

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Piers could hear his voices but he was too wrapped up in his forbidden fantasy of last night. Seeing his captain in nothing but does tight boxers showing his firm ass and to obvious girth size. The small patch of hair leveled from his chest to his navel, his muscled legs and thighs if it wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever seen he didn't what was. 'Stop it! You can't think like that.' To feel every surface of the older man body was like second nature, and it kill him that the first person to drive his hormones so wild was Chris.

It had him rethinking about everything that happened between them. The outrageous feeling to put Finn in his place when Chris starting attached to him (the feeling he recalled felt a lot like being jealous) and the time Chris went MIA. That one was a mixture of things when he found him granted he had lost his memory, hurt and angry Chris just abandoned him. He was the only one who lost his teammates but he thought having each other was enough to ride this out, and that when he found him Chris didn't remember him at all when he was sitting inches from him.

The heartbreaking feeling that knowing his captain was thinking of retiring and leaving him behind, it wasn't because he didn't want to replace him; Chris going anywhere was unthinking able. Wherever his captain was that's where he felt he should be. His body was aware of what he wanted before his mind ever cross that bridge.

'_Why me?_'

Now that his mind there it was like being sucked into whirlpool and he was trying to keep his head above water. Last night had been his 2nd nocturnal emission (wet dream) that was so vivid it was like the dream is iron brand into his brain. Hand…massive hands touching just about everywhere while the licking and sucking sensation started from his naked inner thigh going up to his hips. The shudders and moans filling the room, hands fisting the sheets. He knew this room it was his captains room at BSAA HQ and he was pinned to the bed not that he was fighting it. Looking into the wood colored eyes when lips reached his parting his lips for the older man's tongue, almost screaming his name when his hand wrapped around his cock pumping it slowly and rough.

Three sharp knocks at the door made him jump out of his skin. "Piers can we talk?" he recognized the voice has Sherry, he ignored her trying to will his hard away. "I know you're in there I'll keep knocking if answer me."

Grabbing the cover to hide 'himself', "…come in"

She entered the room shutting the door slowly behind her. "You look like you up for days."

"Yea I haven't had much sleep…"

"Wanna talk about it?"

He knew what you meant but he didn't want to talk about it to her any more than he wanted to talk to Chris. "Nope I'm fine"

"I wish I could say the same about the toaster. So you mind explaining that."

He glared at the pretty blonde, "I wasn't paying attention and my powers went a little haywire."

"Mhm… and the half melted silverware?" she questioned

"Same deal, nothing to worry about."

"So this was nothing to do with the fact that you've been hiding in your room from Chris for the pass 4 days?" she challenged

He looked away from for piercing gaze, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me?" the sat in silence for five minutes, Sherry showed she was going down until she got the 411 on what his deal was.

"It's my father." He looked down sad and unfaithful.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry for the cliffhanger I had to stop because I'm working on a high school AU for you guys and I need to finish the first chapter so this muse will leave me the fuck alone…


	13. Chapter 13 - Who Cares? Pt 2

**A/N:** This is chapter is going to be super cheesy but at less it gets my point across. I'm trying not to linger on this story to much longer so 4 to 5 more chapters should end then fic. So Enjoy…

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Who Cares? Pt. 2**

**Life's like this**

**You, you fall and you crawl and you break**

**And you take what you get and you turn it into honesty**

**You promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it**

**No, no, no**

**Complicated by Avril Lavigne**

"Your father… wait back on a second. Explain to me exactly what you mean Piers." Sherry asked with a confused expression.

"The way I was raised… Thou shall not lay with men where thou lay with women." He looked at the shemagh that hang on his bed headboard. "It's a sin my father looked down on."

"So tell me… how to you really feel about Chris. He said you hated him because he confused you."

Piers looked at his hands as he spoke, "I don't hate him I hate myself! I could never hate Chris not when he opened his home to me and…" Piers let a grunt of frustrated sparking his arm up with bright lights.

Sherry watches with calm eyes waiting for Piers to collect himself, his eyes shocked and horrified. "It looks like hating yourself isn't helping you keep your powers in check. So tell me what's causing that to happen."

"I think I like Chris… a lot. I think I always have I was just too dense to notice it until he told me how he felt about me. I can tell you I haven't had someone under my skin so bad ever…my powers are going mad just like me." He sighed throwing a hand through his hair.

"So do something about it."

"I can't! I can't just destroy everything my father build me to be, everything he was so proud of in me. I can't be Piers Nivans the bad sheep of the family, the dead end, the end of the gene; how would that look to him?" He looked at his hands

"Piers… I have to tell you for one." Sherry looked him in the eyes, "who cares what your father wants you to be. If you haven't forgotten this is your life and no one else's, only you can decide what you want to do with it. You have the power to either live it or let someone live it for you." Piers took a deep intake of breathe like each word was a punch in the gut. "I watched a 6ft 216lb man lose himself over regrets for never being able tell **you **how he felt, and when he does you can't return them because of what others would think. If you let this pass it'll turn into a regret… you might want to regret things you've done and not things you haven't."

"I…I don't know if I can." He sighed putting head in his hands.

Sherry put a hand on his shoulder , "I can't tell you how to run your life… but if your family loves you then they'd want you to be happy and stop beating yourself up. If he makes you happy I say go for it, just think about what I told you okay?"

"Sure…" Sherry left the room with one more encouraging smile.

He knew she was right, that he should see if being with Chris like he wanted would make him happy. His father's word still ran in his head when he turned to CNN to see male soldiers who were openly gay get slandered and discriminated against. He could remember at the moment why but he remembered his father's protest calling them faggots, sissys , and ass-bandits. Wow they didn't deserve to serve the USA and that they were worst then terrorists.

How could they be? They could have been good soldiers just like him…maybe even better. It confused Piers how something so right could be a sin… it wasn't like it was just lust because he felt something strong and stable was there between them. How it made him happy just being around Chris, even non-sexual touch was meaningful.

He rested back into bed, his thoughts making him sleepy, he wish there was a sign from someone maybe his father or god that this was okay but he knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

"So how is he?" Chris asked as Sherry took a seat on the couch.

"He's on a forsaken path right now, he's really torn and confused on what he should do about his feelings for you. His father raised him to believe homosexuals are evil and wrong," she sighed. "Most of his fear is coming from being rejected from his family, being the black sheep as he called it. I told him if his family truly loved him then doing what makes him happy won't disappoint them."

"Sherry I didn't know you were so deep." Jill gives her a smirk, "but do you think he'll come around?"

"I think he's having a hard time just fighting what he wants…I think this was a push in the right direction."

"Hopefully it is… he can't stay here if he can't get is emotions in check."

This surprised Chris; she never said Piers would have to leave. "What- why!?"

"Every time he uses his powers he gets a little bit more unstable." She mused walking to the window, "It's not 100% proven but they predict that the arm could return to its infected state and that would cause a large output of bio-energy. Kind of like when he hatched from the cocoon casing, to much expansion of the infected cells could prove deathly."

"…and you telling me all this now!" He growled, "I don't want him to go back to being a full on monster when he already thinks he's one, that would destroy him."

"Then I suggest you do something today… I have orders too Chris. I know you want to keep him here but if this doesn't get fixed my hands will be tied." She put her hands on her hips giving Chris a knowing look that confused him.

"How I'm I suppose to talk to him if he won't talk to me or look at me for more than five seconds?" He pulled at the hairs on top of his head.

"Did you forget he used to be under you command? Make him listen Chris…he's still a soldier at heart." She walked to the door, "I think me and Sherry will take our leave…you have 24 hours Chris don't waste them." He waited listening to the sound of tires retreating from his home.

The less he could do was talk to Piers, he grab another beer from the freezer before sitting back on couch. Before he could drink he heard a bedroom door opening and Piers come out of it shy out of the hallway.

"Chris?"

"What's wrong?" something had to be if Piers was talking to _him_.

"Nothing…I just wanted to talk to you…explain myself I guess."

"Piers… you don't have to explain yourself to me…but I do have something I have to tell you." Chris scratched the back of his head patting the seat next to him, Piers sat with a curious expression.

"It's about your arm…Jill thinks if this between us is the cause of you becoming unstable…you'll have to go back to HQ."

"What…why?" panic starting to control the younger man.

"It could return to its B.O.W. state which could put both me and you in danger… look I don't want you to go but if I'm the reason you're becoming unstable then maybe you should go."

"That's just it though! What is this between us?" Piers looked defeated and hopeless; it broke Chris' heart to see him like this.

"I can only speak for myself…"

"Then tell me…why me?"

"…you really don't know?" Piers just looked at him with the same expression, making him snort a short laugh. "Wasn't it you who spent six months looking for me? You who made me face my ghosts and stood by me. You who stayed even when I was the worst captain ever…you who pushed me into that pod over your own life. Did you ever stop to think what that does to a person?"

"No…I never did…so tell me what did-what did it do to you?"

"I fell in love…"

Piers face twisted in shock, "I… we, I can't…"

"You can't?" Chris rested his right hand on Piers cheek, "If you can't then tell me to stop…" He leaned forward, his heart felt like it was beating like a humming birds wings. Waiting for Piers to jump and run but he just stared into his eyes, his breath hitched when Chris' lips brushed his lightly. He pulled back licking his lips slowly, Piers eyes quickly follow the movement copying it making Chris cock twitch in excitement.

"Captain…" Piers pressed his forehead together, "If I… we settled this. I could stay right?" His breath was warm in Chris' face, it took him some effect not to smash their lips together.

"As long as you wanted to," he whispered.

"Good…" Chris took that as in encouragement, pushing his lips softy onto his. The kiss was caring as they both try to show their feeling; Chris was loving and patient while Piers' was acceptance and devoted. Piers wrapped his arm around Chris neck, fisting a hand in his shirt craning his neck to deepen the kiss gaining a pleased sigh from his captain. Chris snaked his left arm around him pulling Piers so his was on top of him, he could feel himself getting hard with each second they touched.

Piers pulled away, "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot"

"So what are we now?" he blushed looking at Chris' t-shirt instead of his eyes.

He laughed rubbing the blush like he always wishes he could with his thump, "Your pick…you could be my lover, my boyfriend," Piers smiled at that but quickly frown when he said, "or my boo-boo." He chuckled at Piers' frown.

"No…I think boyfriend is good enough."

"Fine" he press their lips back together, Piers gasped when the hand that was cupping his check gripped his hair. Chris took that chance to invade his mouth, growling when Piers moaned into the kiss. This is what he want, I chance to touch Piers feel his soft skin and taste this pouty lips on his. Piers moan again when Chris' tongue flicked the top of his month repeatedly, he moved the hand fisting his shirt to the hem. Chris lift himself up breaking the kiss so he was shirt, thankfully Piers only had his sweats and socks on for this session.

Piers pause to take in all of his captain's greatness, running a slow hand down his chest over the nipple Chris shudders in pleasure. "I think I always wanted to do this," he leans down taking Chris nipple between his lips. He couldn't stifle the moan that fell from his mouth when he felt a wet tongue assault it over and over, "God Piers" he could feel him smiling at what he could do to his captain.

"For someone who was confused a minute ago you seem to know what you're doing." He moan again when Piers bite him softly.

"I know what I want now…and I know what I like done to me." He moves his mouth back up seizing Chris' lips again. Chris could feel his own full-blown cock begging for release, he move the hand behind Piers' back cupping his ass firmly to pull his lower region flush to him. He could feel all of Piers length on his inner thigh, moving his lips to Piers' neck when air was needed. The heat between their bare chests was hot as he marked Piers' neck with raging hickeys over his collarbone.

Using the grip on his ass to hold Piers still as he aim his own crotch Piers mewled in surprise, pressing down harder for more friction. Chris had never heard something so arousing, the glint in his eyes lust filled hearing Piers moan with each rock of his hips.

"You trust me?" Piers looked Chris in the eyes before nodding.

"I don't want to go too far yet."

"We won't." He slipped Piers sweat and briefs down, taken in the size of girth and length dripping with pre-come. He was packing for a guy his size; he took a firm hand to his cock and began stroking it slowly. Piers groan moving his mouth to his captains' neck, "Piers I need you to unzip me."

He fumbled with the zipper on his jeans each time Chris swiped the pre-come over the front of his member. "I can't focus with you doing that," shuddering again when he repeated the action.

"Sorry" returning to slowly stroke him. He unzipped Chris in one fluid movement grabbing hold of his cock pulling it through slit opening of his boxers and jeans. Before Piers could begin to return the favor Chris moved his hand taking both of them in his hand.

"Fuck…Chris" Chris swears he's never heard Piers curse like that, if that wasn't hot he didn't know what was.

"Call me Captain." His whispered huskily in Piers ear.

"Captain…ah god…Captain." Piers started to buck into his hand as he picked up the speed. "I- I think…fuck…so close."

"Do it. You're so fucking hot Piers all hot and bothered because of me." He kissed Piers hard and feverish, Piers started to fuck into his hand with an abandoned rhythm. A few more pulls before Piers blow his load in his captains' hand, just watching Piers face was enough for the older man to follow behind him. Leaving both of them panting and sweat from the heated hand job Chris give them.

"Was that too far?"

"I think that was just right" he kissed Chris slowly before resting his head on Chris' bare chest.

* * *

**A/N**: I chose to make it dirty but not make them go all the way just yet maybe next chapter…maybe hee hee I didn't like this chapter to much anyway. I didn't do a lot of rereading on this because it took like 4 days to write this and I'm tired!


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